Port of call

Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for other people’s vacation pictures. Proceed at your own risk.

Think of it as an amendment to the original rule.

You see, according to the highly-acclaimed Our Shiputzim General Theory of Pesach Cleaning, now is the time for Stage II:

“Talking and blogging about cleaning in lieu of doing anything constructive.”

But seeing as this stage is essentially all about avoidance and denial, I would posit that an even better way to accomplish this goal is to ignore Pesach preparations altogether and, instead, to turn one’s attention to possible chol hamo’ed activities.

With that in mind – and with your permission, of course – I’d like to recommend a visit to the Ashdod port.

In principle, the Ashdod port meets the stringent criteria for “Ideal Late Summer Outings” – seeing as the tour is both free and air-conditioned. (Additional free and air-conditioned activities include the Bank of Israel in Yerushalayim and the Nesher Cement Factory in Ramle.)

But during most of the year, the Ashdod port is only open to schools and other large groups. However, during chol hamo’ed, families are welcome. [Note: Advance reservations are required.]

We were there on Succot (as you can see, it took me a while to get around to writing this post…), but I believe that the Pesach tours work the same way.

Seeing as there were no small children in our own group, we were very glad that kids under nine years old were not allowed (this rule is strictly enforced), because it meant that the tour was geared for adults and older kids.

The tour lasted about 1½ hours and was divided into two parts: a tour of the visitors center (where they have a few exhibits about the port’s history and operations, a couple of interesting audio-visual presentations, and several educational games) and a fascinating bus ride around the port itself.

IMHO, it is the latter that makes the Ashdod port well-worth the trip.

At one point, we found ourselves parked right next to a large ship, and we got to watch as the ship’s cargo was first unloaded and then reloaded.

Before I show you the threatened promised photos, I should explain that due to security concerns, visitors are only permitted to take pictures from outside the port’s perimeter, from inside the visitors center, or from a nearby scenic overlook known as Givat Yonah (literally, Jonah’s Hill – supposedly the burial site of Yonah HaNavi).

As always, please feel free to click on the pictures for a much better view:

The entrance to the port

A view from inside the visitor center

A view of the manmade breakwater from Givat Yonah

Two ships (as seen from Givat Yonah)

Cranes loading and unloading shipping containers (as seen from Givat Yonah)

Shipping containers (as seen from Givat Yonah)

In short, we all (yes, including the teenagers!) really enjoyed our visit to the Ashdod port. The tour guide was extremely knowledgeable; getting to watch the port in action was quite thrilling; and we learned a lot.

I don’t know if it’s too late to make reservations for Pesach, but if not, I highly recommend that you do.

Have you ever been to the Ashdod port?

Just call me Yente

Ah, the lengths we bloggers go for our craft!

{cue: dramatic sigh}

Take me, for instance.

I mean, sure, I could’ve continued to churn out my usual blogging fare – you know, things like Heblish, national parks, and so on – and no one would’ve complained. (Well, not TOO much, anyway…)

But instead of resting on my laurels, I decided that the time had come to take things to a whole new level.

To boldly go where no J-blogger had gone before.

To use my blogging powers for good.

To get my blog into the shidduch game.

And thus, I channeled my inner Yente…

…And deliberately caused my blogging world to collide head-on with my real life world.

My blogging friend relative G6 has all the details.

Mazal tov to the young couple and to their parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins – including, of course, those who now fall into more than one of the above categories!!

יהי רצון שתזכו לבנות בית נאמן בישראל!

On eagle’s wings

Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for other people’s vacation photos. Proceed at your own risk.

If my overstuffed Drafts Folder is any indication, I owe you at least three national park posts and an equal or even greater amount of Heblish posts.

But first, with your indulgence, here’s an idea that has been designated an “Ideal Late Summer Outing.”

(Previous recipients of this prestigious designation include the Bank of Israel’s visitor center and Better Place’s visitor center.)

As I’m sure you know, in order for a tourist site to be eligible, it has to meet two basic criteria:

1. Free.
2. Air-conditioned.

If the attraction is interesting to boot, well, that’s just a nice side benefit, but it’s certainly not a deal breaker or anything...

Which brings me to our trip last week to the Nesher Cement Factory in Ramle – aka “City in Growing Process.” (Many years ago, a large sign at the city’s entrance read, “Ramle: City in Growing Process.” Apparently the Heblish-infused title didn’t require a leading article, definite or otherwise…)

Nesher manufactures most of the Portland cement (i.e. melet for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you) used to produce the concrete (i.e. biton) that is the backbone of Israeli construction, and the company offers free tours. [Note: Advance reservations are required.]

The tour includes two movies in the air-conditioned visitor’s center and an air-conditioned bus ride around the plant and adjacent quarry.(Did I mention that the site is air-conditioned? ;-))

And now, without further ado, the long-awaited threatened pictures: (As always, feel free to click on the pictures for a closer view.)

The cement is mixed in this building which is covered by a free-standing dome. According to the guide, it is the largest such structure in the entire Middle East.

The conveyor belt leading out of the quarry.

The “preheater” which leads directly into the furnace.

A view of two cement silos.

A cement truck is weighed on an automatic scale as it enters the plant.

A display case demonstrates that “clinker” (which is turned into Portland cement) is composed of 80% limestone and 20% clay.

A model of the furnace. There is no cement between the bricks, which are simply wedged into place.

All in all, we enjoyed the visit.

The price was right; the tour was extremely interesting and informative; each visitor received a free, cold Tropit (a bag of sugary grape drink) on the way out; and even the KQ (=kvetching quotient) was relatively low – in spite of the fact that one or two of the Shiputzim teens had been to the factory as part of a school trip back in elementary school…

Have you ever been to the Nesher factory? What other free, air-conditioned attractions can you recommend?

____________

P.S. The latest Kosher Cooking Carnival is available here. Special thanks to Batya for including my cinnamon buns post.

If only I had time to blog…

If I wasn’t busy shamelessly neglecting my blog, here are a couple of things I’d probably be writing about:

1) With good reason, the Israeli Olympic swimmers’ extremely impressive achievements have been the talk of the country

But as far as the Shiputzim family is concerned, the best part of the Olympic swimming competitions is Moshe Gartel, Israel Television’s colorful and entertaining commentator, whose amusing sayings never fail to crack us up.

For instance, two nights ago, during the semi-finals, Gartel memorably begged an Israeli swimmer’s international competitors to slow down.

“What do you care?” he asked the swimmers (who obviously couldn’t hear him and wouldn’t have understood the Hebrew anyway). “Won’t you let a Jewish boy advance to the next level?”

And earlier in the week, when a different Israeli swimmer entered the arena, he burst into song (yes, on air!) and greeted her with the words, “Ta’aleh v’tavo, ta’aleh v’tavo…”

Many more of Gartel’s gems can be found here.

2) A few weeks ago, we lost power here in TRLEOOB*.

Ever mindful of my civic duty ever reluctant to spend more than a few minutes sans air conditioning, I called the electric company to report the blackout and to check how long it would last.

As expected, I was immediately put on hold.

And that’s when I made a surprising discovery: Apparently, someone over there at the electric company reads Our Shiputzim!

I mean, why else would s/he graciously provide me with a bit of much-needed blog fodder?

You see, as I was waiting on the phone, a recorded voice came on the line and informed me that all the operators were busy.

Then, after apologizing for the delay and thanking me for my patience, the voice suggested that I could save time by heading over to the electric company’s website. (“DAAA-bell-yoo, DAAA-bell-yoo, DAAA-bell-yoo. Nekudah. Aye, Eee, See. Nekudah. See, Oh. Nekudah. Aye, Ell.”)

Normally, this would’ve been very good advice, but under the circumstances (see: the dictionary definition of “electricity blackout”), I could access neither my computer nor our wireless network…

But I certainly appreciated the gesture, and it’s always nice to meet an Our Shiputzim fan – even if that fan is only an automatic voice recording.

 

And so, dear readers, there you have it: the blog post I would’ve written – if only I’d had the time…

________________

*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

Heblish: The With a Little Help From My Friends Edition

B”H, these past few weeks, I’ve been busy with work and other real life endeavors, and as a result, I’ve been forced to put blogging on the back burner.

But don’t worry!

Because thanks to the kindness of strangers dear friends,  I have a brand new crop of Heblishisms to share with you today.

First, A Mother in Israel presents these two gems:

• And etc.: Hebrew source – ‘וכו. English definition – Etc. Sample usage - “On Purim, most of the girls dressed up as things like princesses, queens, brides, ballerinas, and etc.”
• If like that: Hebrew source – אם כך. English definition – If that’s the case. Sample usage - “I heard that there’s supposed to be a chamsin, and if like that, can we please leave the air conditioning on?”

Next, Toby made me smile with this entry:

• For my good luck: Hebrew source – למזלי הטוב. English definition – Fortunately; luckily for me. Sample usage - “I hadn’t studied for the test, but for my good luck, the teacher was out sick today.” (See also: I had a mazal.)

And finally – once again proving that different Heblish dialects have a way of converging - they each sent in both of the following:

• One, one: Hebrew source – אחד אחד. English definition – One at a time; one by one. Sample usage - “She put the cookies in the box, one, one.”
• Regular to that: Hebrew source – רגיל לזה. English definition – Used to it. Sample usage - “The first few days of school, some of the kids forgot to wear their new uniforms, because they weren’t yet regular to that.”
  

So there you have it.

Thank you, all, and please keep your wonderful Heblish submissions coming!

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Previous Heblish editions are available here: Heblish I, Heblish II, Heblish III, Heblish IV, Heblish V, Heblish VI, Heblish VII, Heblish VIII, Heblish IX, Heblish X, Heblish XI, Heblish XII, Heblish XIII, Heblish XIV, and Heblish XV.

Like money in the bank

As promised (and at the risk of sounding like a travelogue and boring you all to tears), here’s another idea for a free and air-conditioned family outing: the Bank of Israel.

The state-of-the-art visitors center focuses on the history of money in general and Israel’s currency in particular and also discusses the Bank of Israel’s various and assorted functions.

In addition to a number of display cases, the tour includes two (count ‘em!) movies, and the knowledgeable tour guide has a wealth (pun intended) of fascinating information to share.

One of the display cases

Interactive computer games – undoubtedly, the most popular part of the tour

At the end of the tour, each participant receives a little bag with 3000 NIS-worth of shredded bills.

One final note: As I’ve noted elsewhere, YZG and I are always on the lookout for new and creative ways to raise the KQ (the kvetching quotient), because we do so enjoy adolescent grumbling. </sarcasm>

And thus we were naturally quite pleased when the KQ soared in the day or two preceding the outing.

However, our gratification was premature, because on the way home, certain teenagers of our acquaintance were heard admitting that overall, the tour was fairly “interesting” and “much better” than expected…

_________

Hat tip: Toby who recommended this tour in the comment section to my post about a different bank

A better place to visit during the summer

Many of you rightly observed that although Har HaZeitim sounds like a fascinating place to visit, it may not be the ideal destination during hot, er, climatically-challenged weeks like this one.

And so, the Our Shiputzim Tourism Department has taken the liberty of suggesting an indoor summertime activity: a tour of Better Place’s visitors center in Pi Glilot.

Better Place (I know I’m not the only one who wants to say “the Better Place” or “a Better Place”… :-)) is the company founded by Shai Agassi which is working to build an electric vehicle network throughout Israel.

The tour includes a movie (aka a “multimedia presentation” in tourist-site-speak) during which the audience sits on refurbished seats from used cars; demonstrations of the company’s cutting-edge technologies; and the chance to test drive an electric car.

The visitors center is located in a converted water tank.

One of the cars

YZG wryly noted that the 1½-hour tour is basically a long infomercial for the company.

And he has a point.

But since the visitor center was air-conditioned, the kids had fun, and, best of all, admission was free, we didn’t mind selling our souls to crass commercialism listening to their sales pitch…

Coming up: A recommendation for another free and climate-controlled vacation activity.

Tuesday tidbits

Hellooooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

I’m still working on the big ten-year aliyah-versary post, but in the meantime, here are a number of blogging tidbits (bligbits? bloggits? blidbits? bliggits? blodbits?) for your reading pleasure:

1. First, an update to this post, where I reported that the new downstairs A/C controller board came with a new remote. Here’s a picture of the new remote sensor on the wall:

Yes, we still need to do some patching up.

Interestingly enough, the old remote itself still works (B”AH), and so we sold the new one to someone who was looking for one.

2. Second, a trivia question for our readers: In addition to our aliyah-versary, we also celebrated another anniversary B”H last week.  What anniversary was it and how many years has it been? Leave your answers in the comments section. (Those of you who complained that our previous competition was over before you even had a chance to read about it will be glad to know that the winner of that competition is currently in transit and doesn’t seem to be reading this blog for the duration. Of course, that winner was actually disqualified, but that’s not important right now…)

3. And, lastly, we have started to think about this blog’s future. Way back in this blog’s heyday, we would receive supportive comments such as this one and even this one. But lately, even our most ardent fans (such as the authors of the two comments I just cited) have been neither reading nor commenting. So, we need to ask ourselves if there is any point in continuing…. Nu? What do you think?

…And that’s about it for now.

As always, watch this space for future developments.

Good night from the entire Our Shiputzim staff.

A notebook on the floor is worth two in the knapsack (or something like that)

Helloooo, Our Shiputzim readers!

Those of you who were concerned (and we do thank you for your empathy) about our A/C-less state will be relieved to learn that the repairman returned today and replaced the controller board. It even came with a new remote.

So, the fans are now on their way back up to the attic.

But today’s big news was that we had two longish blackouts – one in the late afternoon and one in the evening. Apparently, the electricity was out in the entire area and not just here in our neighborhood.

Yes, this did mean that the A/C was once again out of commission… but this time, the fans were of no help, either.

Since blackouts aren’t all that photogenic, let’s see if we can’t find something else for your viewing enjoyment.

Ah! Here’s something:

As you may have guessed, this is the haul from this summer’s school supplies shopping spree. (Try saying that 5 times fast!)

That’s about all for now.

See you next time on another exciting episode of…. Our Shiputzim!

Our reliable fans

Hellooooo, Our Shiputzim readers!

Now, I realize that when some of our more loyal readers see this post’s title, they will become very excited.

“Wow! A post all about us,” they'll probably say. “We can’t wait to read what will surely be a paean to our many virtues.”

Well, I hate to burst your bubble and all, but, unfortunately, your fifteen minutes of fame have not yet arrived. In other words, this post is not about you.

No, this post is about the other kind of fans. You know, the kind that cools you off. The kind that you dig out of your attic and turn on when your A/C has decided to conk out on you….

I’m sure that most of you can see where this is headed, and I probably can just stop here. However, since I have nothing else to write about, I figure I might as well milk it for all its worth. So here goes.

Last night, at around 9:00, our A/C stopped working. YZG spent some time fiddling, but to no avail. So, we called the appliance repairman, and he arrived at around 10:00 this morning. It turned out that the problem was with the controller board attached to the unit in the ceiling. The repairman jury-rigged something for today and will I”YH return tomorrow to finish the job.

As an aside, I should note that this is far from this same repairman’s first appearance in the blog. In fact, as you will no doubt recall, he played a significant role in this post and also in this post.

In completely unrelated news, here is a picture of what will eventually be the cabinet in the upstairs bathroom:

Right now, it’s sitting in AMG’s room, waiting for the carpenter to come install it IY”H after Tisha B’Av.

That’s about all for now.

Don’t forget to tune in again tomorrow – same Our Shiputzim time, same Our Shiputzim channel.

One small step for man us

The A/C guys finished and left. Here's what it all looks like now:

This is the playroom vent:

This is the vent in AMG's room:

And this is the vent in ASG's room:

Here's where the unit itself is:

And here's another view of the unit itself:

In other news, the steps have arrived. Here's one:

And here it is temporarily in place:

Now, before one of our so-called anonymous commenters suggests that one step is insufficient and that we consider getting more, here are the other steps:

The wooden steps will be shellacked with two coats, and the metal supports are going to be painted. (Color TBA.)

Noon time notes

Hello to all.

Just a quick posting to bring you all up-to-date.

The roof guy is up on the roof doing his thing.

Here is a close-up of a support on the porch for your viewing pleasure:

Meanwhile, the A/C guy is working on spackling and patching everything up. For example, here's the crack he made for the electricity:

The A/C guy hopes to be completely finished by the end of the day.

Otherwise, not too much to report for now - although we do have a new tag line:

Our Shiputzim: your source for our renovations.

Nu? What do you think?

A journey to the center of the duct

We realize that you were all very disappointed by the lack of roof views in the previous post. We'll try and make it up to you now, but first, we must beg your indulgence for just a second, as we update you on the A/C.

Here's the unit covered by the geves:

This will be the return:

Here's a peek into the duct from AMG's room:

And also:

And this is looking into the duct from ASG's room:

There. That wasn't so bad, was it? In any event, having finished with that, it's time for - c'mon, say it together with me - roof views. [Cue: applause sound track]

View #1:

View #2:

View #3:

And with that, we say: good night from the Our Shiputzim staff.

If it looks like a duct...

We begin by apologizing for the delay. We realize that several of our most dedicated readers have been anxiously awaiting an update since this morning. However, our Chief of Photography has been in Yeshiva, and his deputy is B"H busy. Anyway, without further ado, here's where things stand now:

Bathroom:

Here's the paint used for the ceiling:

Here's the toilet:

And here's what it looks like underneath the sink. (It comes with a shelf, which isn't in yet.)

And, finally, here's the outlet:

A/C:

Note that these pictures are from several hours ago. Since then, they have made some more progress. B"N I'll post again later, but for now, here's the duct leading into AMG's room:

And into ASG's room:

And the unit itself:

Stairs:

As noted in the comment section of the previous post, we're going to be having wooden steps instead of the metal steps shown here. There will I"YH be 15 steps. Here are the metal supports:

And here's a different view:

Here's a close up of the bottom:

And here's the stairs anchored into the hole:

No, sorry. No roof views for now. But don't worry. B"N we'll try and make it up for it later tonight.