The Top 10 Signs You’re Living in the Corona Era

The Top 10 Signs You’re Living in the Corona Era

10) You notice that the Ministry of Unwritten Regulations has apparently decreed that every ad – whether in print (in one of the very few publications that are still being distributed) or online - must contain either a picture of a mask or an illustration of a coronavirus. Bonus points if the virus resembles a cuddly cartoon character.

9) Another day, another 17 “davening at home” jokes.

8) Shabbat feels like you’re in a Jane Austen novel. Everyone is dressed up in elegant clothes; there is nowhere to go; you meet the exact same people at every meal; and after dinner, you retire to the modern day equivalent of the drawing room, where you all sit around and talk and read. And if you get really bored, you can always take a turn about the room…

7) “Where/how are you doing your Pesach grocery shopping?” is the new “where will you be/who is coming to you for the Seder this year?”

6) Even your two-year-old grandchildren have been using Zoom to get together with the other kids from their ma'on (daycare center).

5) You’ve lost track of how many times someone has quoted all or at least part of the pasuk:

לֵךְ עַמִּי בֹּא בַחֲדָרֶיךָ וּסְגֹר דלתיך בַּעֲדֶךָ חֲבִי כִמְעַט רֶגַע עַד יעבור זָעַם
(“Go, My nation, come into your chambers and close your door behind you; hide for a brief moment, until the wrath shall pass.” --Yishaya 26:20)

4) Over the past week alone, you’ve attended a bat mitzvah, a hanachat tefilin, a baby naming, and several weddings, and not one of the other guests noticed or cared that you were wearing pajamas and slippers the entire time.

3) You have trouble remembering that only 3-4 weeks ago(!!), you had never even heard of terms like social distancing and flattening the curve.

2) You go outside to your backyard for a breath of fresh air, and your next door neighbor greets you from HER yard. As the two of you stand there catching up, separated by a wall and significantly more than two meters of space, you get to pretend that you’re Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor from “Home Improvement” chatting with Wilson over the fence. 

1) After shamelessly neglecting your blog for years and years, you’re suddenly inspired to sit down and write a post.

😊

Wishing you and your families only good health, and may we all soon be privileged to share besurot tovot, yeshu’ot v’nechamot (good tidings, salvation, and consolation).

Seudah Shlishit… Glidah

Note: In keeping with a longstanding Our Shiputzim tradition, the waning hours of a [very long!] fast day are dedicated to blogging about food.

During the summer months here in TRLEOOB*, seudah shlishit tends to involve homemade ice cream. (Please consider this post to be an invitation to drop by one Shabbat!)

Initially, our repertoire was limited to chocolate, vanilla, and coffee flavors, but over the years, we’ve added a few more – including:

More Homemade (Philadelphia Style) Ice Cream

Philadelphia style ice cream (as opposed to custard style ice cream) has no eggs. Like our original recipes, the next four were adapted from a combination of several different sources.

Milk Chocolate Ice Cream

• 1½ cups whipping cream (i.e. shamenet metukah, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you)
• 3/5 cup whole milk (we use 3% milk)
• ½ cup sugar
• 2 TBSP cocoa
• 135 grams milk chocolate – coarsely chopped
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

White Chocolate Ice Cream

• 1½ cups whipping cream (i.e. shamenet metukah, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you)
• 3/5 cup whole milk (we use 3% milk)
• ½ cup sugar
• 135 grams white chocolate – coarsely chopped
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

Cookies and Cream Ice Cream

• 1½ cups whipping cream (i.e. shamenet metukah, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you)
• ¾ cup milk (we use 3% milk)
• ½ cup sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• ¾ cup chocolate sandwich cookies – crushed

Mint Chip Ice Cream

• 1½ cups whipping cream (i.e. shamenet metukah, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you)
• ¾ cup milk (we use 3% milk)
• ½ cup sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• ½ cup thin chocolate-covered mints – chopped

Directions

Mix all the ingredients - except the cookies and the mints, when relevant - in a small pot over medium heat until the mixture is smooth and just beginning to form tiny bubbles. Remove from heat and refrigerate for a few hours or even overnight.

Pour the mixture into the ice cream maker and churn according to the manufacturer’s instructions. For the cookies-and-cream and the mint chip, add the cookies/mints when the ice cream is about 75% churned, and continue churning.

Freeze overnight before serving.

.צום קל ומועיל

Have an easy and meaningful fast.

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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

Am Yisrael, Eretz Yisrael, and Torat Yisrael

Warning: The following post may exceed definitely exceeds the recommended daily allowance for political essays. Proceed at your own risk.

In shul this past Shabbat, our community’s Rav declared that he isn’t endorsing any particular party.

However, he stressed that each person should vote for the party that s/he believes would best protect and defend Am Yisrael, Eretz Yisrael v’Torat Yisrael (the People of Israel, the Land of Israel, and the Torah of Israel).

How should one determine which party best meets this criteria?

The Rav observed that the Hebrew word melech (king) is comprised of three letters:

• Mem – which stands for mo’ach (the brain), which represents the intellect.
• Lamed – which stands for lev (the heart), which represents the emotions.
• Kaf – which stands for kaved (the liver), which represents ka’as, anger.

According to the Rav, it’s not coincidental that the Mem comes first, because when it comes to matters of state, the intellect must take the lead.

Similarly, the Rav continued, when deciding how to vote, one should be guided primarily by one’s intellect.

Therefore, even if one is upset or even angered by something that a certain party did or didn’t do, one should still make a rational, objective calculation about whether or not that party is nevertheless best able and most likely to protect and defend Am Yisrael, Eretz Yisrael, and Torat Yisrael.

As I noted above, the Rav was very careful to avoid endorsing or even recommending any particular party.

In contrast, I admit that I have much less compunction, and thus, I will state the following:

1) The would-be duumvirate known locally as “Tzippi/Bouji” has made it quite clear that Am Yisrael, Eretz Yisrael, and Torat Yisrael do not play prominent (or perhaps even any) roles in its members’ Leftist and post-Zionist worldviews.

2) Voting for any of the self-styled “Centrist” parties – including Yisrael Beiteinu, Kulanu, and most especially Yesh Atid – will enable Tzippi/Bouji to form and lead the next government.

My dear friends, please keep these two very important points in mind when heading to vote tomorrow.

May these elections herald besurot tovot, yeshu’ot v’nechamot (good tidings, salvation, and consolation) for Am Yisrael, Eretz Yisrael, and Torat Yisrael.

Rosh Hashanah 5775

I realize that posting has been fairly sparse in recent weeks.

But I’m sure you’ll forgive me when you consider all the, ahem, important and meaningful things we’ve been doing here in TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog).

For instance, this past Shabbat, we were extremely busy coming up with a list of acronyms for תשע”ה – 5775 – the upcoming new year:

.תהא שנת עליה הביתה
May this be a year of aliyah to our homeland.

.תחל שמיטה על הארץ
Let shmitah begin in the Land of Israel.

.תהא שנת ערבות הדדית
May this be a year of mutual responsibility.

.תשכון שכינתך על המקדש
May Your Divine Presence dwell in the Mikdash.

.תהא שנת עידן המשיח
May this year mark the onset of the Messianic Era.

.תשים שלום על הבריות
Bestow peace upon mankind.

.תביא ששון על הארץ
Bring joy to the land.

.‘תהא שנת עבודת ה
May this be a year of serving Hashem.

.תבוא שלום עוד השנה
May peace arrive this very year.

.תהא שנת עליית הרגל
May this be a year of going up to Yerushalayim on the festivals.

.תהא שנת עירך הבנויה
May this be the year of Your rebuilt city.

Please feel free to add your own suggestions in the comment section.

Yitzchak Meir and Udi Davidi sing “Ochila LaKel.” (Full disclosure: Last year, on Rosh Hashanah 5774, we had the privilege of davening in the shul where Yitzchak Meir was the ba’al tefilah.)

לשנה טובה תכתבו ותחתמו לאלתר לחיים טובים ולשלום!

May you and your families have a wonderful, happy, healthy, prosperous, and sweet new year!

Hu Yevarech Et Chayalei Tzahal

Well, here we go again.

The war seems to be back on, and as a result, many IDF soldiers and officers - many of whom had been granted short conditional leaves only yesterday - are now being ordered back to their respective bases.

Which means that all across the country - including here in TRLEOOB*!  – many families are now coming to terms with the fact that their beloved sons won’t be home for Shabbat after all.

But as I wrote in my achdut post, we still have much to celebrate on this Erev Shabbat Nachamu. For in spite of all the disappointments, the heartbreaks, the traumas, and the tragedies of the past two months, Am Yisrael remains united, and people around the world continue to demonstrate their love and support for the IDF.

For instance, a few days ago, OS (=Our Soldier) received a wonderful surprise from my friend Laura (of Pragmatic Attic fame).

She wrote that her young daughter made this beautiful drawing especially for OS, as an expression of her gratitude and appreciation for him and his friends:

The talented young artist, who graciously gave permission to have her drawing posted here, explained that it’s a picture of two chayalim (soldiers) hugging. “They are hugging,” she added, “because they are happy, and because [I don’t] want them to be sad.”

Thank you, Laura, and please thank your sweet daughter!

The IDF’s Chief Cantor and the Pirchei Yisrael Boys Choir of Givat Shmuel sing the “Mi SheBerach Prayer for the Welfare of the IDF Soldiers” to the tune of “El Eretz Tzvi.” (The IDF Cantor and Choir sang this same song at the Shloshim for the three boys Hy”d last week.)

שבת שלום ומבורך ובשורות טובות!

Shabbat shalom, and may the coming week be filled with besurot tovot, yeshu’ot v’nechamot (good tidings, salvation, and consolation) for Am Yisrael!

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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

Zaidy z”l (Updated)

Note: I am reposting the following from last year (with a few updates), because I think that the amazing letter at the end should not be missed.

Tonight – the eighth night of Chanukah - marks the yahrzeit of my beloved maternal grandfather z”l, a Holocaust survivor originally from what is now the Ukraine.

Zaidy z”l was the oldest of four sons. His father – who died when Zaidy was only nine years old - was the Rav of their shtetl and the author of several well-regarded seforim. (Sadly, only one of these works – a fascinating treatise on bringing korbanot in our time – survived the Nazi onslaught.) Zaidy’s mother and two youngest brothers Hy”d were murdered by the Nazis and their willing local accomplices in 1941.

A gifted talmid of both Rav Elchanan Wasserman zt”l in the Ohel Torah Yeshiva in Baranovitch and then Rav Aharon Kotler zt”l in the Kletzk Yeshiva (Zaidy z”l was only 17 when he received smichah – rabbinic ordination – from Rav Kotler) before the war, Zaidy z”l later earned an engineering degree from the University of Moscow.

Zaidy z”l (standing, in the hat) teaches other survivors in the DP camp in Frankfurt in 1946.

Throughout his life, learning Torah was Zaidy’s greatest joy, and after a long, hard day working to support his family, he would “unwind” with a sefer.

A family member watches as Zaidy a”h and I light the candles – Chanukah 5731 (December 1970).

Nine years after the above picture was taken, my family was living in Israel on a sabbatical, when Zaidy z”l suddenly passed away - on Shabbat Zot Chanukah 5740 (December 1979).

Some two weeks later, we received an extraordinary letter (written on an aerogram - remember those??) from him. Apparently, he had dropped it into the mailbox on his way to shul on Erev Shabbat – i.e. just a few hours before he died.

What follows is an incredibly moving excerpt (edited slightly for clarity) from that remarkable letter:

“…With Hashem’s help, our letter will find you all in good health and high spirits. Amen.

“We are, thank Hashem, fine. It is already the 6th day of Chanukah, and usually you are all here. Mommy prepares the pancakes; [REDACTED] takes them sledding in the snow; and we pass out the Chanukah presents to the kids.

“This year, there is no snow yet. The kids and you all are far away in far away places; and the presents for the kids are somewhere; and a mailman will do chores instead of our pleasure.

“But as they say, count your blessings. Thank Hashem for [having] been blessed with children who have chosen to follow in the שביל הזהב (the Golden Path), who are שומרי תורה ומצוות (observe the Torah and the mitzvot) and [are] bringing up their own children to do the same.

“This is the real meaning of מסורה (Jewish tradition) – to transfer the Torah and her commandments as it was given to our forefathers on הר סיני (Mount Sinai), not to add or deduct.

“Our parents planted the seeds in us. We did the same to our children, and you are doing the same to your children.

“Let us pray [that] the seeds you are planting will bear fruit. Amen…”

May Zaidy’s memory be blessed, and may Zaidy and Bobi’s children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren be privileged to continue along the path set out by our special parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents z”l.

ת.נ.צ.ב.ה

Nov

Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for other people’s vacation pictures/videos. Proceed at your own risk.

Longtime readers know that unlike most Israelis, who tend to visit Eilat during Chanukah vacation, the extended Shiputzim family prefers to head in the opposite direction and spends Shabbat Chanukah up North.

This year, our specific destination was Nov, a religious agricultural moshav, located right next door to Avnei Eitan in the southern Golan Heights, and B”H, we had a wonderful time.

Which was nice for us, of course, but unfortunately, not so nice for you.

Because after all, it wouldn’t be the week after Chanukah here on Our Shiputzim without me forcing you to sit through, er, sharing our vacation pictures.

And so, without further ado, here are the threatened promised photos:

As always, please feel free to click on the pictures for a much better view.

Exterior of our tzimmer

The kitchen/eating area

The bedroom

The sleeping loft

A view of the indoor swimming pool

A flock of sheep

And as if all those pictures weren’t fascinating enough, and on the off chance that I haven’t yet managed to bore you all to tears, here’s a short video from our drive up to Nov on Friday. If you listen carefully, you can even hear the day’s weather report:

Have you ever been to Nov?

________________

P.S. Speaking of Shabbat Chanukah, don’t miss my tribute to my Zaidy z”l. (It’s especially noteworthy, because it’s the first time I ever posted a picture of myself here on the blog…)

P.S.S. The latest Kosher Cooking Carnival is available here. Special thanks to Batya for including my “ceasefire pie” (aka chocolate mousse pie) post.

Déjà vu?

From the moment the IDF launched Operation Pillar of Defense, the pundits have been comparing it to 2009’s Operation Cast Lead.

And to a certain extent, one can see where they’re coming from.

After all, once again, Israel faces the same cruel, merciless enemy.

Once again, the casus belli is the enemy’s vicious and relentless targeting of innocent Israeli civilians, while using their own civilians as so-called human shields (i.e. a double war crime).

Once again, Israeli men, women, and children are forced to cower in stairwells, bomb shelters, and security rooms.

Once again, an ever-growing number of beloved Israeli fathers, sons, and brothers are being called up to defend the country.

Once again, Israelis have opened their hearts and homes to our beleaguered brethren in the line of fire and are collecting desperately-needed supplies and treats for the soldiers on the front lines.

Once again, much of the world is rushing to condemn Israel for fictitious atrocities and promoting an obscene moral “equivalence” between sadistic terrorists and the IDF, who is – by every objective standard – the most moral and ethical army on the entire planet.

Once again, Israelis are walking around with the same fortitude and grim determination to get the job done.

Yet, as far as we’re concerned here in TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog), there are several major differences between this week and four years ago.

It’s that the enemy is now firing missiles with longer ranges and that sirens and booms are now being heard in a much larger section of the country (including the area where our favorite bat sherut now finds herself).

It’s that this time around, we are B”H blessed with a very different government and prime minister, and that hopefully, HaKadosh Baruch Hu will grant them the strength and the courage to stay the course.

And it’s that after being told to keep his phone on over Shabbat, OS (=Our Soldier) finally got the call a few hours after Havdalah, and since then, he has been spending his days somewhere along the Gaza border.

May Hashem watch over and protect him and all our courageous men and women in uniform and keep them all safe and sound!

מִי שֶׁבֵּרַךְ אֲבוֹתֵינוּ אַבְרָהָם יִצְחָק וְיַעֲקֹב הוּא יְבָרֵךְ אֶת חַיָּלֵי צְבָא הֲגַנָּה לְיִשְׂרָאֵל, הָעוֹמְדִים עַל מִשְׁמַר אַרְצֵנוּ וְעָרֵי אֱלקינוּ מִגְּבוּל הַלְּבָנוֹן וְעַד מִדְבַּר מִצְרַיִם וּמִן הַיָּם הַגָּדוֹל עַד לְבוֹא הָעֲרָבָה בַּיַּבָּשָׁה בָּאֲוִיר וּבַיָּם. יִתֵּן ה' אֶת אוֹיְבֵינוּ הַקָּמִים עָלֵינוּ נִגָּפִים לִפְנֵיהֶם. הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא יִשְׁמֹר וְיַצִּיל אֶת חַיָלֵינוּ מִכָּל צָרָה וְצוּקָה וּמִכָּל נֶגַע וּמַחְלָה וְיִשְׁלַח בְּרָכָה וְהַצְלָחָה בְּכָל מַעֲשֵׂה יְדֵיהֶם. יַדְבֵּר שׂוֹנְאֵינוּ תַּחְתֵּיהֶם וִיעַטְרֵם בְּכֶתֶר יְשׁוּעָה וּבְעֲטֶרֶת נִצָּחוֹן. וִיקֻיַּם בָּהֶם הַכָּתוּב: כִּי ה' אֱלֹקיכֶם הַהֹלֵךְ עִמָּכֶם לְהִלָּחֵם לָכֶם עִם איבֵיכֶם לְהוֹשִׁיעַ אֶתְכֶם, וְנאמַר אָמֵן.

Film Friday: Fill the Void Edition

Warning: The International Blogging Federation’s Oversight Committee has determined that the following post is in direct violation of Article XII-3298-A763 (“Posting Film Friday Posts On a Sunday”) of the Blogging Code. Proceed at your own risk.

Last night, YZG and I went to see a movie.

In the theater.

Which - considering the fact that as far as we can recall, the last movie we saw by ourselves in a movie theater was Sleepless In Seattle – was unusual in and of itself.

But that wasn’t the strangest part.

Because the thing that makes our cinematic date night blog-worthy is that we saw a Hebrew-language movie.

Which had no English subtitles.

And yet, we both really enjoyed the movie and highly recommend it!

If you live here in Israel, you’ll no doubt have guessed by now that we saw “Fill the Void” (i.e. “למלא את החלל” for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you) – a wonderful and critically-acclaimed movie that was written and directed by chareidi filmmaker Rama Burshtein.

The storyline is fairly simple. A chassidish 18-year-old girl’s mother wants her to marry her deceased sister’s widower. In other words, there are no major plot turns or shocking developments.

But the amazing and nuanced acting, the brilliant cinematography, and the painstakingly-accurate dialogue, sets, and costumes all add up to a charming movie.

A certain Our Shiputzim reader referred to it as “a chareidi romantic-comedy,” and IMHO, that’s an excellent description.

Unlike many other movies about chareidim, “Fill the Void” is neither a mean-spirited attack on the chareidi world nor a lame attempt at apologetics. Rather, it’s a warm-hearted, sweet, and extremely believable (the mascara scene happened more or less in its entirety to a certain Shiputzim family member) film that just happens to take place in a chassidish community.

Furthermore, Burshtein, who clearly knows her way around this community and gets nearly every single detail right, doesn’t insult her audience’s intelligence.

For example, when the characters sit around a table in dressy clothes and sing, the filmmaker doesn’t need to hit the audience over the head with a maudlin candle lighting scene to announce that it’s now Friday night. Instead, a character’s throwaway comment that he’s on his way to “the tisch” serves the same purpose – albeit in a more subtle and much more effective fashion.

Bottom line: As much as I tend to shy away from hyperbole, I have to say that “Fill the Void” is truly a “must-see” movie. You won’t want to miss it.

Have you seen “Fill the Void”?

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles

Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for hyperbole. Proceed at your own risk.

As every desperate/bemused/frustrated/resigned (pick your favorite adjective) Israel parent is well-aware, Chodesh Irgun is upon us.

So, why haven’t I mentioned this important fact, you’re no doubt wondering?

Two reasons, really.

a) It’s kind of hard to mention anything, when one is busy neglecting one’s blog.

b) I figured that by now, I’d pretty much said everything there was to say (and then some…) about Chodesh Irgun.

But then yesterday, a miracle happened.

Yes, a miracle.

Right here in TRLEOOB*.

<brief explanation>

First, a quick refresher for those who – for reasons best known to themselves – have not committed every single word I’ve ever written to memory. (But if you consider yourself to be an OurShiputzim expert, please feel free to skip ahead…)

Chodesh Irgun usually includes at least one communal seudah shlishit, and said seudah shlishit is inevitably preceded by the Call.

As I noted in my original post on the subject, the Call is when the madrich/madrichah (youth group leader/counselor) calls (hence the name) each of the chanichim (youth group members) to arrange who will bring what to the seudah shlishit.

Without fail, the Call arrives about an hour before Shabbat (when no one has time to run out and go shopping, even if the stores weren’t closed) and involves the most random items (which the typical family rarely stocks in their pantry).

</explanation>

If you’ll kindly consult your calendar, you’ll see that yesterday was a MONDAY – i.e. many, many, MANY days before Shabbat.

Yet, amazingly, it was, indeed, yesterday when one of the Shiputzim daughters got the Call from her madrichah!

And as if the Call’s timing wasn’t shocking enough, the Shiputzim daughter in question was merely asked to bring a bottle of drink and a can of pickles - neither of which is remotely obscure or exotic.

Astonishing, no?

In fact, I’m sure you’ll agree that this means that TRLEOOB* now qualifies for a recitation of שעשה לי נס במקום הזה (“Blessed is… the One Who performed a miracle for me at this site”)…

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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

Fine Arts Friday: Home from the Army Edition

Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for pictures of other people’s kids’ drawings. Proceed at your own risk.

In my post about our newly-minted IDF soldier, I noted that the army traditionally allows its new recruits to spend their first Shabbat of basic training at home.

And sure enough, B”H, OS (=Our Soldier) came home this morning.

When he arrived in TRLEOOB*, the following sign - produced by one of the talented Shiputzim daughters - was waiting for him on the front door: (As always, feel free to click on the picture for a closer view.)

Translation: “Welcome home, Our Soldier!”

שבת שלום ומבורך!

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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

Becoming a “real” Israeli

As many of you know, here in TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog), we’ve B”H reached a very significant milestone:

The first of the Shiputzim kids started his army service this week.

If I wasn’t busy shamelessly neglecting my blog, maybe I’d try to describe some of the different things I’m feeling right now. Thankfully, however, I don’t have to, because Guest Blogger Malke did just that in a beautiful guest post a couple of years ago.

Yet, nevertheless, there’s one thing I WOULD like to discuss.

You see, until now, I considered the first time I gave birth in Israel to be the moment that I had become a “real” Israeli.

But having a son in the IDF takes one’s, well, Israeliness (if that’s a word…) to a whole new level.

Because, IMHO, there’s something so poignantly, sweetly, intensely, and wonderfully Israeli about the whole thing.

It’s that on the Shabbat before OS (=Our Soldier) was inducted, he was called up to the Torah in shul and received a warm brachah (blessing) in the announcements after davening.

It’s that the army tries very hard to allow the new recruits to spend their first Shabbat as soldiers at home.

It’s that OS has been together with a number of the guys in his unit since first grade.

It’s that when we took OS to his giyus (induction), we met several friends and acquaintances, who were there dropping their own sons off. (In other words, we got some points…)

It’s that one of the well-respected rabbis from OS’s hesder yeshiva came to the giyus to see his talmidim (students) off.

It’s that over the past few weeks, everyone – and by “everyone,” I mean family, friends, neighbors, the owner of the local makolet (supermarket), coworkers, the mailman, and anyone else you could possibly think of – gave OS (and us!) lots of helpful advice and heartfelt good wishes.

It’s that one of the things on OS’s list was extra army socks, but I had no idea where to purchase them. So we tried a nearby dry goods store, and sure enough, they had exactly what we were looking for.

It’s that the induction point boasts a food concession stand and a covered picnic area for all the families who come to drop off their children.

It’s that the army makes sure that the religious soldiers have enough time to daven three times a day, and that all the larger bases have fully-outfitted shuls – complete with a Sefer Torah, plenty of siddurim, and even a collection of seforim for learning.

It’s that OS made a point of taking a pocket Mishnah with him to the army.

It’s that the recruits’ commanders make home visits to check out where their soldiers live.

It’s that at the giyus, YZG was far from the only father lovingly giving his son a brachah.

It’s that before the giyus, OS’s yeshiva arranged a very special two-week-long pre-army program – to prepare the guys religiously, spiritually, halachically, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically for their upcoming military service.

It’s that OS and his fellow Torah scholars/soldiers are deeply aware that it is both an honor and a responsibility to be serving and defending Am Yisrael, Eretz Yisrael, and Torat Yisrael.

מִי שֶׁבֵּרַךְ אֲבוֹתֵינוּ אַבְרָהָם יִצְחָק וְיַעֲקֹב הוּא יְבָרֵךְ אֶת חַיָּלֵי צְבָא הֲגַנָּה לְיִשְׂרָאֵל, הָעוֹמְדִים עַל מִשְׁמַר אַרְצֵנוּ וְעָרֵי אֱלקינוּ מִגְּבוּל הַלְּבָנוֹן וְעַד מִדְבַּר מִצְרַיִם וּמִן הַיָּם הַגָּדוֹל עַד לְבוֹא הָעֲרָבָה בַּיַּבָּשָׁה בָּאֲוִיר וּבַיָּם. יִתֵּן ה' אֶת אוֹיְבֵינוּ הַקָּמִים עָלֵינוּ נִגָּפִים לִפְנֵיהֶם. הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא יִשְׁמֹר וְיַצִּיל אֶת חַיָלֵינוּ מִכָּל צָרָה וְצוּקָה וּמִכָּל נֶגַע וּמַחְלָה וְיִשְׁלַח בְּרָכָה וְהַצְלָחָה בְּכָל מַעֲשֵׂה יְדֵיהֶם. יַדְבֵּר שׂוֹנְאֵינוּ תַּחְתֵּיהֶם וִיעַטְרֵם בְּכֶתֶר יְשׁוּעָה וּבְעֲטֶרֶת נִצָּחוֹן. וִיקֻיַּם בָּהֶם הַכָּתוּב: כִּי ה' אֱלֹקיכֶם הַהֹלֵךְ עִמָּכֶם לְהִלָּחֵם לָכֶם עִם איבֵיכֶם לְהוֹשִׁיעַ אֶתְכֶם, וְנאמַר אָמֵן.

May Hashem watch over and protect OS, his friends, and all our soldiers and keep them all safe and sound.

Euphonic Friday: Mizmor L’David Edition

Disappearing from one’s blog for a week or so and then abruptly returning with a lame excuse about how real life got in the way of blogging is considered to be a classic faux pas.

Thus, since far be it from me to ignore blogging social conventions, I won’t subject you to any sort of apology (sincere or otherwise…) for my absence.

Instead, I’ll simply share Ehud Banai’s beautiful rendition of “Mizmor L’David” in a tacit hope that you’ll forgive me for the sporadic nature of my posts…

!שבת שלום ומבורך

Euphonic Friday: Shabbat HaMalkah Edition

When I was growing up, my parents had Chaim Nachman Bialik’s “Shabbat HaMalkah” on LP (the younger readers amongst you can learn about records here… :-)), and we would often listen to this beautiful song on Erev Shabbat.

Here are two different recordings of this classic Shabbat song:

 

The lyrics are available here.

And speaking of Shabbat, if you’re looking for something new and unusual to add to your repertoire, be sure to check out Miriyummy’s, um, creative chicken recipe.

Not only does it look and sound delicious, but it obviously serves as an excellent conversation piece. And best of all, it allows the hostess to say, “All I did to prepare for Shabbat was to open a couple of cans…”

!שבת שלום ומבורך

It’s a small world after all

You can tell a lot about people by noting which alonim (i.e. the weekly parsha sheets issued by a wide range of institutions and organizations and distributed every Shabbat in shuls across the country) they read.

For instance, seeing as how the Shiputzim family includes, inter alia, Anglo parents as well as Israeli teenagers, it should come as no surprise to hear that “Olam Katan” (literally, “A Small World”) and “Torah Tidbits” (put out by the OU’s Israel Center) are both very popular here in TRLEOOB*.

Thus, I was quite flattered when a number of readers observed that a recent humor piece (scroll down to Page 5) in “Olam Katan” about Israel’s national-religious world reminded them of this blog.

“It's like the kind of thing that you write, Imma...” one of the Shiputzim kids even said.

And on a somewhat related note, be sure to check out the extraordinary lead article (the article starts on Page 1 and continues on Pages 4-5) in this past Shabbat’s “Torah Tidbits”.

What are your family’s favorite parsha sheets?

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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

Soaking it all in

Warning: The following post may exceed the statute of limitations on post-Pesach wrap ups. Proceed at your own risk.

“I have a question which I suspect no one has ever asked the Rav before,” YZG began.

The Rav was skeptical. There isn’t much he hasn’t seen or heard.

“We’ll see,” he replied noncommittally but with a definite twinkle in his eye.

And so YZG explained.

For 14 years – i.e. since the last time Shvii Shel Pesach (the 7th day of Pesach) came out on a Friday {insert: requisite Torah Tidbits stats, which note that there won’t be such a long break for another 200 years or so} – we’d been planning that this year, we’d spend the last day of Pesach and Shabbat Parshat Shmini (aka Isru Chag) at our gebrochts-eating relatives.

You see, the Shiputzim daughters are all determined NOT to be one of those women who grow up not eating gebrochts and then refuse to serve it to their families - even if their husbands DO indulge in knaidlach, matzah brie, matzah farfel kugel, and so on.

But in order to avoid falling into this surprisingly common trap, the Shiputzim daughters need to taste the aforementioned soaked delicacies.

And so, for the sake of the Shiputzim daughters and their future husbands and kids (BA”H), we decided to go to our relatives for that Shabbat.

After all, when it comes to gebrochts, they’re the experts. In contrast, we’re mere amateurs, at best.

But a couple of weeks before Pesach, we suddenly realized that there might be a problem.

Because assuming that such a thing is possible, said relatives are even more fanatic about early Shabbat than we are.

Which meant that it would not yet be Tzait HaKochavim (loosely, nightfall) when we were going to be accepting Shabbat.

Was there any way, YZG asked, for us to have gebrochts at that Friday night meal?

The Rav smiled.

No, he certainly had NOT been asked that question before… :-)

However, be that as it may, he continued, we should wait until after Tzait to eat the gebrochts (although for this purpose, we could abide by a lenient opinion of Tzait).

Translation: We wouldn’t be able to have knaidlach with our soup, but if we stalled and sang a few extra zemirot, we could easily partake of the matzah farfel kugel that was set to appear during the main course.

For the record, our gracious hostess offered to switch the courses and serve the soup course AFTER the main course - thus allowing us to have the knaidlach, albeit at the price of the matzah farfel kugel.

And so, as we are wont to do, the Shiputzim family took a vote.

We all agreed that the picky eaters among us (read: those who wouldn’t commit to eat both the knaidlach AND the kugel) had no say in the matter. In addition, the voting commissioner (that would be me) ruled that YZG couldn’t vote, because it’s his fault that we don’t eat gebrochts… :-)

With only a handful of eligible voters remaining, the decision was unanimous. Everyone opted for the kugel. (Their reasoning was that they’d all had knaidlach before – although admittedly not up to our hostess’s standards – but no one makes matzah farfel kugel when it isn’t Pesach. No, not even during Gebrochts Week…)

And, so, to make a long, boring story even longer and more boring, we had gebrochts, and all was right with the world.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering why we wasted our time on gebrochts when we could’ve been eating kitniyot </reason #2119 for making aliyah>, wonder no more.

Because on that Shabbat afternoon, we had some Doritos, and all would’ve been even more right with the world. Except that surprisingly, unlike dishes containing soaked matzah, salty corn-based snacks just don’t seem to lend themselves to long-winded, drawn-out posts…

Did you eat gebrochts and/or kitniyot on Shabbat Parshat Shmini/Isru Chag?

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P.S. Speaking of Pesach, check out the latest Kosher Cooking Carnival here. Special thanks to Jennifer in MamaLand for including my non-gebrochts choco-nut bars.

Twisting ourselves into a pretzel

According to the highly-recommended Our Shiputzim General Theory of Pesach Cleaning, this week calls for:

“Talking and blogging about cleaning in lieu of doing anything constructive.”

And thus, here are a few items of interest or note:

1) Wondering why your darling offspring’s vacation starts this coming Wednesday already? Well, you have the Education Ministry and its Ponzi scheme - aka “robbing Peter to pay Paul” – to thank for that…

2) If you’ve ever had the privilege of seeing the office nook that YZG and I share, this JPost piece will definitely ring a bell…

3) The latest Kosher Cooking Carnival is available here. Special thanks to Batya for including my lemon-glazed apple cake.

4) Rafi G. shares his beautiful insight into the Korban Chatat (the sin-offering in the Beit HaMikdash).

And finally:

5) It seems that every year without fail, we’re always left with too much of one particular chametz product before Pesach.

For instance, there was the year that we were awash in pasta. (As far as I can recall, pasta was on sale right after Chanukah that year, and apparently, we went a bit overboard…)

And then there was the memorable Year of the Shkedei Marak (i.e. the ubiquitous soup nuts seen on Israeli Shabbat tables everywhere), when the younger Shiputzim kids spent the week before Pesach in the playground, generously doling out the little yellow squares to all their friends and acquaintances.

Which brings us to this year, when an initial survey of our pantry revealed that we have an inordinate amount of… drum roll, please… pretzels.

Why pretzels, you ask?

The answer is: I have no idea.

I mean, it’s not like pretzels feature prominently in the Shiputzim family’s regular diet or anything, and I can’t imagine what prompted us to buy so many bags of the salty snack in the first place.

But buy pretzels we obviously did, and therefore, pretzels are certain to play a major role in our menus over the coming week.

So if you’re in the mood for some, um, pretzel chicken, pretzel pizza, pretzel salad, or just plain pretzels, feel free to drop by TRLEOOB*…

What strange assortment of chametz items do YOU still have left?

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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

A winter wonderland

Back in September, I shared a couple of entries from the journal YZG had to keep when he and his high school classmates came to Israel for six weeks on a midwinter tour nearly 30 years ago BA”H.

Several readers asked me to post a few more excerpts from the journal, and so – without further ado, but with YZG’s permission :-) – here goes:

Thursday, February 3

Today we went south. First, we went to… Kever Rachel. Next, we went to Elonei Mamrei and Hevron. There, in Hevron, we saw Me’arat HaMachpeilah, the place where the Patriarchs and Matriarchs are buried. It is run and controlled by the Arabs. There are three mosques and two synagogues. Then we went to one of the houses owned by Jews. We saw a museum there which told about the history of Hevron. There is also a yeshiva there.

After Hevron, we went to a pottery factory where everything is made by hand. Then we went to a glass factory where everything is handmade and blown by hand. [Ed. note – Do you detect a theme? :-)]

Then we went to Kibbutz Kfar Etzion… There we saw a museum of the history of the Etzion Bloc.

Today was the first day it rained…

Friday, February 4

…Then, we went to see 3 caves. The first one is called Bell Cave. It is a cave that was formed by mining out the chalk there. Next we went to the Pigeon Cave. This cave was used to keep pigeons in. The last cave is called Grave Cave. It was once used as a tomb… [Ed. note – If this sounds familiar, it’s because this entry first appeared here.]

Saturday, February 5

We [spent Shabbat] in Yeshivat Kerem B’Yavneh.

Sunday, February 6

This morning, we went to Jericho. On the way, we stopped in a new [community] called Ma’aleh Adumim. Then we continued on and got to Yericho, which is an oasis in the Judean Desert. In Yericho, we visited a 6th century synagogue, which has a mosaic tile floor. We then went to Ai and climbed the mountain there…

Wednesday, February 9

…At night… I visited [relatives] and talked with them from 8:00-10:00… [Ed. note – Because you might think that he spoke to them from 7:30-9:30 or perhaps even 8:30-10:30, but you would be wrong… :-)]

Thursday, February 10

We went to Givah, and then we went to Givon and then to Ma’aleh Beit Choron. After that we went to Latrun, a place Jordan used to separate Tel Aviv from Yerushalayim in 1948. Then we went to Modiin, where they had a model of a city of centuries ago…

Friday, February 11

…In the afternoon, we went to Bnei Brak…

Saturday, February 12

[Last night], we went to the synagogue of the Gur Chassidim. That night we saw the tisch of the Vishnev… In the morning, we davened at Ponevitch…

Monday, February 14

…In the afternoon, we went swimming and visited the elderly. At night, we went to Machon Lev to use the PDP11/34 computer… [Ed. note – Those of you who know YZG in person know that this and his visit to Kiryat Noar were the two highlights of his trip… :-)]

Tuesday, February 15

Today we went to the Old City of Yerushalayim… We visited four different synagogues… After that we went to the Holyland Hotel and saw a 1:50 scale model of Jerusalem as it looked in the days of the Second Beit HaMikdash…

Thursday, February 17

Today we went to Shchem… We saw Kever Yosef, Har Grizim, and Har Eval…. It rained today…

Friday, February 18

We went to Yeshivat Har Etzion [for Shabbat]…

Saturday, February 19

It snowed…

Wednesday, February 23

Today we went to Tel Aviv to see the Diaspora Museum. It is a museum that shows Jewish cultural life in different areas of the world in various times in history. After that, we went to the Old City of Yafo and walked around. I went down to the water – the Med. [Ed. note - Don’t you love how he and the Mediterranean are so close that he gave it a nickname? :-)] – for most of the time…

Friday, February 25

This morning we went to the Institute for Halachah and Technology. They showed us some of their inventions, and then we went to families in Bayit V’Gan for Shabbat…

Saturday, February 26

It snowed…

Sunday, February 27 (Purim)

…At night, we went to the Old City, to Rabbi Kahana’s synagogue, for megilah reading. Afterwards, we went to various yeshivas… Porat Yosef, Yeshivat HaKotel, and a yeshiva in Me’ah She’arim…

Monday, February 28 (Shushan Purim)

…I went downtown, to see the Purim celebrations there…

Wednesday, March 2

Today we went to Yad Vashem…

Thursday, March 3

Today, we got up at 3:30 and left at 4:00 for Masada. We climbed it at sunrise - it took me 40 minutes, and I was the first up – and davened Shacharit there. Then we toured it until 11:00. Then everyone - except [two other boys] and I - took the cable car down. We got down in 12 minutes and got down before everyone else. Then we went to Ein Gedi, ate lunch there, walked in the reserve, and saw a waterfall…

To be continued…

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P.S. The latest JPiX is available here. Special thanks to Ilana-Davita for including two of my posts: Avnei Eitan and the olive oil factory in Katzrin.

Out of this world

Have you ever heard people say that their memories are so bad that they’re likely to forget their own names next?

Well, apparently, that’s what happened to the producers of this Havdalah candle:

Someone should tell them that the missing letter in their company’s name makes a word, er, that is, a world of difference…

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P.S. The latest Kosher Cooking Carnival is available here. Special thanks to Batya for including my chocolate chocolate chip bars.

Fun and Games Friday: Twenty Questions Edition

Most people consider Twenty Questions to be a rather prosaic parlor game, but in our family, it has a long and colorful history.

You see, my father is notorious for coming home on Friday night and beginning the Shabbat meal by daring everyone at the table:

“You’ll never guess who was in shul tonight. Twenty questions…”

And so the game begins.

Inevitably, the subject proves to be an obscure, random person – that nobody, often not even my mother, has ever heard of or has even the remotest chance of ever guessing…

When the Shiputzim kids were born, YZG and I knew that Twenty Questions was a tradition we wanted to incorporate into our own household.

And so we have. With a vengeance.

For Twenty Questions features prominently in TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog).

Of course, the older kids have a definite advantage. Not only do they have better analytical and deductive skills than their younger siblings, but they know more people.

Still, even the younger members of the family hold their own.

For instance, a few years ago, the kids were trying to guess who it was that YZG and I had bumped into at a wedding we had attended.

Everyone was asking a series of well-reasoned questions, in order to gradually tease out clues as to the subject’s identity.

Suddenly, ACYSC (=a certain younger Shiputzim child) - who was feeling somewhat left out and wanted to get in on the action - memorably blurted out:

“Did the person die yet?”

In short, there’s much to like about Twenty Questions.

After all, it promotes cognitive development and encourages logical thinking.

And more importantly, Twenty Questions is the perfect game to play when checking for nits in one’s offspring’s hair…

!שבת שלום ומבורך