Seudah Shlishit… Glidah

Note: In keeping with a longstanding Our Shiputzim tradition, the waning hours of a [very long!] fast day are dedicated to blogging about food.

During the summer months here in TRLEOOB*, seudah shlishit tends to involve homemade ice cream. (Please consider this post to be an invitation to drop by one Shabbat!)

Initially, our repertoire was limited to chocolate, vanilla, and coffee flavors, but over the years, we’ve added a few more – including:

More Homemade (Philadelphia Style) Ice Cream

Philadelphia style ice cream (as opposed to custard style ice cream) has no eggs. Like our original recipes, the next four were adapted from a combination of several different sources.

Milk Chocolate Ice Cream

• 1½ cups whipping cream (i.e. shamenet metukah, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you)
• 3/5 cup whole milk (we use 3% milk)
• ½ cup sugar
• 2 TBSP cocoa
• 135 grams milk chocolate – coarsely chopped
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

White Chocolate Ice Cream

• 1½ cups whipping cream (i.e. shamenet metukah, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you)
• 3/5 cup whole milk (we use 3% milk)
• ½ cup sugar
• 135 grams white chocolate – coarsely chopped
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

Cookies and Cream Ice Cream

• 1½ cups whipping cream (i.e. shamenet metukah, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you)
• ¾ cup milk (we use 3% milk)
• ½ cup sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• ¾ cup chocolate sandwich cookies – crushed

Mint Chip Ice Cream

• 1½ cups whipping cream (i.e. shamenet metukah, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you)
• ¾ cup milk (we use 3% milk)
• ½ cup sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• ½ cup thin chocolate-covered mints – chopped

Directions

Mix all the ingredients - except the cookies and the mints, when relevant - in a small pot over medium heat until the mixture is smooth and just beginning to form tiny bubbles. Remove from heat and refrigerate for a few hours or even overnight.

Pour the mixture into the ice cream maker and churn according to the manufacturer’s instructions. For the cookies-and-cream and the mint chip, add the cookies/mints when the ice cream is about 75% churned, and continue churning.

Freeze overnight before serving.

.צום קל ומועיל

Have an easy and meaningful fast.

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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

The Parental Guide to Sherut Leumi

By all accounts, Sherut Leumi (National Service) is generally a rewarding and enjoyable experience for the young volunteers.

But the application process the year before?

Well, that’s a completely different story. An absurd, ridiculous, and downright inane story. A story that often involves disappointment, frustration, and even tears.

A story that begs for a blog post of its own…

And thus, we here at Our Shiputzim proudly present:

The Official Sherut Leumi Lexicon

Shministit (שמיניסטית) – Literally, one belonging to the shminit – i.e. the eighth. Refers to a high school senior (fem.). The term is actually a vestigial throwback to the gymnasia system. The first form was the equivalent of today’s fifth grade, and the final – or eighth – form corresponded to today’s twelfth grade.

Bat sherut (בת שרות) – A Sherut Leumi volunteer.

Agudah (אגודה) – Literally, an association. Refers to one of the Sherut Leumi supervisory organizations. There are currently three primary agudot which cater exclusively to National-Religious young women. Each agudah has a separate catalogue of Sherut Leumi positions throughout the country. (Although three agudot may seem like overkill, competition between the three actually benefits the bnot sherut.)

K’sherit/Megasheret/Mekasharet (קשרית\מגשרת\מקשרת) - Literally, a liaison. (Yes, there are – at least – three different names for the same thing…) Refers to the agudah’s representative who comes to the ulpanot and helps the shministiyot figure out what they want to do during Sherut Leumi. Each agudah sends its own mekasheret, and thus the shministiyot have to meet with all three mekashrot. The mekashrot are often young and inexperienced (our neighbor’s 21-year-old daughter currently works as a mekasheret in a local ulpanah) and tend to come up with rather amusing suggestions for the girls. (I’ll leave it to A Mother in Israel to elaborate…)

Teken (תקן) – Literally, a standard. Refers to a Sherut Leumi position. Different institutions have different numbers of tkanim. In other words, the number of tkanim an institution has is the number of bnot sherut that institution can hire for the following year.

Popular positions – Certain Sherut Leumi positions are considered to be highly desirable. This reputation is largely undeserved and is based solely on hearsay. In practice, this means that shministiyot applying to any of these positions are likely to face rejection…

Sayaret (סיירת) – Literally, a reconnaissance tour. The shministiyot go on sayarot in order to check out potential positions and to be interviewed. Each institution is only allowed to invite a limited number of candidates to a particular sayeret. The precise number is determined by the number of tkanim.

Dirat sherut (דירת שרות) – The apartment where the bnot sherut live during their Sherut Leumi year.

Rakezet (רכזת) - The local coordinator or supervisor who takes care of the bnot sherut and the dirat sherut. The rakezet is employed by the agudah.

Website – Where the shministiyot must register for most of the sayarot (except for the ones that require preregistration, advance registration, and/or special invitation…). Registration begins at a specific time on a specific day. In recent years, it’s been at 6:00 PM on a given Tuesday. Which means that starting at 5:30 PM on that fateful day, girls across the country sit in front of their computers, hands hovering above their keyboards, as they wait anxiously for H-Hour to arrive - so they can quickly register for a sayaret at one of the popular positions before all the spots fill up.

“We upgraded our system, and it won’t crash.”- A statement made by an agudah official to a group of parents at a certain ulpanah earlier this year. Note that she said this without the slightest hint of irony – even though this is exactly what the agudot insisted last year… and the year before that… and the year before that… Also note that this year, out of the three agudot, only one’s system did in fact crash – and was down for over two hours - on that critical Tuesday evening: The very same agudah whose official made the aforementioned claim…

“What a crazy system!” – A phrase uttered repeatedly by, er, a certain Anglo mother of my acquaintance over the past few months…

What would you add to this lexicon?

And in conclusion, this blog’s editorial board and writing staff would like to take this opportunity to extend a hearty mazal tov to our favorite shministit, who recently, um, closed on (sorry, but the English just doesn’t have quite the same connotation as the Heblish…) a very exciting position for next year IY”H.

Best wishes to her and her classmates for continued success in all their future endeavors!

Top 10: On the Road to the Bar Mitzvah

The Our Shiputzim Editorial Board proudly presents:

The Top Ten Signs That You May Be Making a Bar Mitzvah in the Next Couple of Weeks IY”H

10) The entire family is able to lain a certain parsha by heart.

9) Whenever anyone opens their mouth to say anything, you immediately caution, “slow, loud, and clear.”

8) The baking team (aka the tza’ir bakers, in the vernacular) is hard at work.

7) Supper is now a thing of the past, because the dining room table has long since disappeared under an avalanche of invitations and envelopes.

6) You’ve been contacting obscure relatives, in order to ascertain: (a) that they still exist, and if so, (b) their current mailing address.

5) There’s no more room in your freezer.

4) You’ve compiled so many lists that you’ve been working off a list of lists. In fact, you’re seriously considering migrating to a database of lists.

3) If nonstop shopping was an Olympic sport, you’d be well on your way to a gold medal. (Reason #3221 for making aliyah: You don’t have to buy your son a suit or even a tie for his bar mitzvah…)

2) You find yourself trapped deep inside the dreaded Cycle of Invitations. {cue: wild, maniacal laughter}

1) Four words: Less time for blogging…

Plus ca change…

Dedicated member of the online world that I am {ignores the snide comments about how I shamelessly neglect my poor blog}, I felt that it was only right that I join Google Plus as soon as I received an invite* a couple of weeks ago.

And since I know that you’ve all been anxiously waiting for my take, here goes:

Within seconds of signing up, I realized that my life had changed forever. Google+ is precisely the app I’ve always wanted…

Not!

(i.e. staaaaaaaam!, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you)

Conventional wisdom apparently holds that it’s a great improvement over Facebook**, but I honestly don’t understand why.

As far as I can tell, relatively few people have joined, and most of them post the exact same things that they post on Facebook.

I’m obviously missing something, because I just don’t get it. </politically-incorrect confession>

What’s your opinion of Google+?

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*Please feel free to send me an email if you’d like an invite.

**For comparison’s sake, here are my initial impressions of Facebook.

An endless loop

One of the true-to-life comic strips included in Shifra Gluck’s charming Shikufitzky 3 opens with the mother glancing at an invitation.

Loosely translated (we only have the Hebrew edition), the thought bubble over her head reads:

“I’m surprised that Mrs. Levy invited me. After all, we hardly know each other. But of course I’ll go anyway, because I don’t want to insult her…”

And then in the final panel, the mother arrives at the simchah and wishes mazal tov to the hostess, who’s thinking:

“I’m surprised that Mrs. Shikufitzky showed up. After all, we hardly know each other. I only sent her an invitation, because I didn’t want to insult her…”

I’m sure I’m not the only one who can relate to both characters.

It all starts out innocently enough.

Picture this:

You’re compiling the guest list for your upcoming simchah, and you wonder what to do about the X’s.

They’re very nice and all, but to be perfectly honest, you don’t have much to do with them. Yet, you feel you should invite them anyway.

Maybe they’re new to the neighborhood, and this is a great way to welcome them. Maybe you move in the same circles, and you’re inviting everyone else in the group.

Or maybe, they invited you to their recent simchah, and now you have to invite them back.

And there’s the rub.

Because once you invite them, they’re definitely going to feel obligated to return the favor.

And, then, before you know it, you’re both trapped in {shudder} the dreaded Cycle of Invitations…

{cue: wild, maniacal laughter}

How do you handle this delicate situation*? Do you have a way to extricate yourself from this never-ending cycle? Or does it just keep going and going and going…

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* Yes, I’m well aware that this falls squarely in the category of  high-class problems… :-)