Fashion Friday: Unintended consequences edition

Greek soldier: {reading from a scroll} His Royal Highness King Antiochus has decreed that you may not observe Shabbat; you must wear ugly shirts emblazoned with a logo; and you may not perform a brit milah.

Assembled people: {shocked} What do you mean we have to wear ugly shirts with logos?!

(From a comedic scene used to great effect by many Israeli kids in their recent Chanukah plays)

Ask any teacher or principal across the country about the newly-mandated school uniform shirts, and they’ll inevitably start gushing about what a wonderful development it is.

You’ll no doubt hear how the shirts engender school spirit and how the staff spends less time dealing with inappropriately and/or immodestly dressed students.

And in spite of the requisite grumbling (see: the aforementioned skit), most students don’t really seem to mind the uniforms that much either.

After all, the shirts generally come in a wide range of colors – giving the students some room to express their individuality.

Yet, nevertheless, school uniforms aren’t immune from the Law of Unintended Consequences.

You see, no one could’ve predicted that the modern version of uniforms waste precious time every morning.

Here’s why: (Note that these issues mainly apply to girls’ schools.)

• 1) Sartorial considerations: Since the skirts and shirts weren’t purchased together (because the uniforms don’t include skirts), the shirts don’t necessarily match every skirt in a girl’s closet. Which frequently translates into a last-minute frantic scramble to find the single skirt which matches that oddly-hued light green top…
• 2) Political and social considerations: If you’re an elementary school girl, choosing which colored shirt to wear on a given day involves numerous factors. For instance, do you want to wear the same color as your older sister? Yes? But is she willing to match you? And what about your BFF? You arranged with her that you’re both going to wear your beloved pink shirts tomorrow, but – horrors! - it turns out that your pink shirt is still in the laundry. And so on…

In other words, as the Hebraically-oriented among you would say, “zeh loh pashut…” (Literally, it’s not simple – i.e. it’s a real problem…)

Not too long ago, a mother of a teen told me that she wishes her daughter’s ulpanah had a uniform.

“It would save her so much time in the morning,” the mother said wistfully.

I had to laugh…

!צום קל ומועיל ושבת שלום ומבורך

It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s a… taxi???

Helloooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

The girls and I took a taxi home from the ברית yesterday.

Later that afternoon, ENG said to me, “A taxi is really a car. Right, Imma?”

I agreed that a taxi is, indeed, a car.

She then confided that when I had told her that we were going to be taking a taxi home, she didn’t really know what that meant.

“I thought it was maybe like an airplane. Like a kind of helicopter or something like that…”

Previous examples of ENG-isms can be found here and here.

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And in renovation news, the carpenter put up the tiles on the baseboard of the new cabinet in the upstairs bathroom yesterday. He still has to return to add the grout (i.e. rubba for the Hebraically-oriented among you) and the two inside shelves. As you may have guessed, he told us that he’ll be back tomorrow…

Meanwhile, all the new hardware has been installed. I’ve submitted a request for suitable pictures to the Photography Department and will try and post them as soon as they become available.

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And on that note, good evening from the entire Our Shiputzim staff.

Shana tova

Helloooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

I have to get back to the kitchen (we seem to have had a honey cake emergency), but I told one of our most loyal readers that I would try and post a picture of the hardware for the upstairs bathroom before R”H.

So, here goes:

As you can see, we went with metal (we wanted to match the handles of the cabinet under the sink), and yes, that is the new bathroom cabinet (sans the baseboard, which we’re still waiting for).

And on that note, the entire Our Shiputzim staff wishes all our readers a:

כתיבה וחתימה טובה

May תשסט be a good, sweet,

happy, healthy and peaceful

new year!

Wonders never cease…

Helloooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

Well, whaddaya know? The carpenter paid us a surprise visit today and finally managed to finish AMG’s closet.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Don’t believe me? Well, here, go ahead, see for yourself:

Note that the two leftmost doors are shallower than the rest – so that the door can be opened, as shown in this picture:

Here’s what it looks like on the inside:

But if you think this means that you won’t have to suffer through any more carpenter posts, well, all I can say is: I’m sorry, but not so fast.

You see, he still has to come back and finish the bathroom cabinet. (It’s actually basically done; he just has to add a row of tiles to the bottom.)

But in the meantime, we’re glad that the closet is B”H finally completed…

And on that note, we wish all our readers a

Shabbat Shalom

from the entire Our Shiputzim staff.

Tzav Rishon

Hellooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

Well, forget about all that talk about how our klitah (absorption) is complete and how we’re tentatively dipping our toes into the shallow end of “Acculturation”.

You see, there’s nothing like having one’s son receive his tzav rishon (initial army call-up) to bring one back to one of the earlier stages of aliyah.

Yes, that’s right. The Chief of Photography’s tzav rishon recently arrived in the mail.

Of course, it will I”YH still be a couple of years before he’s actually inducted. Apparently, the tzav rishon simply means that he has to report for a day of testing and initial screening (as well as a good deal of sitting around and waiting, according to our family’s official military expert - known to long-time readers of this blog as the commenter named “Be All You Can Be”.)

Nevertheless, this is still a rather significant milestone in the Shiputzim family’s klitah process. In fact, none of us are quite sure what to make of it. I guess we all need some time to sort out our thoughts and feelings on the subject…

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Meanwhile, back on the renovations front, the carpenter actually showed up for several hours last Thursday. In other words, when he said on Wednesday that he would be back “tomorrow”, he actually meant it for a change! (No, he wasn’t really turning over a new leaf – as evidenced by the fact that we haven’t seen him since then…)

And finally, in completely unrelated news, we picked up all the hardware for the upstairs bathroom. I will B”N post pictures as soon as everything is installed.

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Have a good evening from the entire Our Shiputzim staff!

The carpenter chronicles

Hellooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

Yesterday, one of our favorite commenters asked:

“What about the carpenter did he come back…”

Funny you should ask, YAT, because you see, the carpenter actually came for a couple of hours on Sunday. And yes, as our long-time readers may have guessed, when he was leaving, he claimed that he was coming “tomorrow”. Understandably, we took that to mean that we would be seeing him some time next week or so.

Thus, you can imagine our surprise when he came for another few hours this evening.

But lest you think that he was turning over a new leaf, let me reassure you that on his way out, he once again announced that he would be back… all together now… “tomorrow”!

Feel free to leave a comment with your bet as to the date of the carpenter’s next appearance.

In completely unrelated news, we finally ordered some of the hardware (towel hooks, toilet paper holder, etc.) for the upstairs bathroom.

Now, I realize that some of you have been waiting with bated breath to learn if we went with metal or plastic. Moreover, I’m sure that others will want to know what color we chose and even what the fixtures look like.

But the thing is – if I tell you now, I’ll have nothing to blog about a different time. And besides, it has become something of an Our Shiputzim tradition to milk boring, trivial and inconsequential announcements for way, way, way more than their worth.

And so, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait for a future episode for all these fascinating details.

In the meantime, we wish you a good night from the entire Our Shiputzim staff!

Invoking Vizzini

Hellooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

Today was rather… well, odd. Sadly, we went to a funeral in the afternoon. But then we came home, got changed, and went to a wedding. Needless to say, the juxtaposition of the two events was somewhat unsettling, to say the least.

In renovation news, although the carpenter did not arrive today, he actually showed up for a few hours yesterday.

Care to see what he accomplished? (Like you have a choice…*) Then follow me.

As you may be able to see in the following picture, the left hand side of the closet is somewhat shallower than the rest – to enable one to open the door to the room.

The white thing in the lower right corner of the picture is supposed to be the bathroom cabinet.

When is the carpenter going to come back and finish the closet – to say nothing of installing the aforementioned bathroom cabinet? That remains to be seen. Of course, as is his wont, the carpenter told us that he’s coming “tomorrow”, but if I may paraphrase: He keeps using that word; I do not think it means what he thinks it means…

And that’s about it for now.

Tune it next time when rumor has it our-neighbor-formerly-known-as-the-kablan may be paying us a visit in a professional capacity. You won’t want to miss it!

Have a good night from the entire Our Shiputzim staff.

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* No choice short of skipping the rest of this post, of course, but I’m sure you wouldn’t want to do that!

Here a closet, there a closet

Hellooooo, Our Shiputzim fans*.

We have several major developments to report, and so let's not waste any time with the pleasantries.

Here's what's happening:

Our neighbor (formerly known as “the kablan”) stopped by this morning to help YZG and ASG do the last panel of the porch screening, as you can see here:
 

YZG and ASG did the rest of the porch by themselves (as you can see here,  here and here), but this last section was too tall.

In any event, we now have to purchase some wood to anchor the screens and prevent them from flying up like a sail in the wind.

In other news, the carpenter returned today and spent some more time on AMG’s closet:

And, finally, YZG and I acquired a closet for our own bedroom today.

As some of you may know, we had originally planned on waiting to install a closet in our room. After all, we’ve managed without one for ten years, B”AH. By now, we don’t barely notice the piles of clothes which have no place to go.

But then someone posted on our local email list that they were giving away some aronot gratis. The owners are getting new aronot, because some of the inside shelves are no longer usable. But at that price, we figured it was an offer we couldn’t refuse. (And, anyway, we are happy with less shelves, because it gives us more hanging room.)

So, after working on the porch this morning, YZG and ASG drove down the street, dismantled the aronot, and brought them home. MAG, ESG, and TSG then washed all the parts, and YZG and ASG reassembled the closet.

And, now, without further ado, here’s our “new” closet:

Special thanks to ASG (aka the Chief of Photography) for expertly stitching the above picture together!

Well, that’s about it for now.

See you next time on another exciting, entertaining and enthralling edition of Our Shiputzim!

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* Or should that be “fan” (i.e. singular)?… Is anyone still out there?… Feel free to leave a comment, and let us know that you’re still reading…

Mazal tov: Siyum Seder Zera’im edition

Helloooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

Yes, I know, I know. It has been a few days since my last post. I actually have a few things to write about – such as our ten year “aliyah-versary”, which we B”H celebrated last week – but TRLEOOB (the real life equivalent of our blog) intruded on my blogging plans. Anyway, B”N, I hope to make up for it this week, but no promises.

We begin today’s entry with a very special mazal tov to our dear ESG on his recent siyum on the entire Seder Zera’im!!!!

As some of you know, in addition to his long day in school, ESG goes to an intensive afternoon Talmud Torah five days a week. There are two shiurim every day: Chumash and Mishnah. The Talmud Torah makes a point of not skipping anything, and - as his teachers in school as well as those of you who’ve had the privilege of hearing ESG talk at a Shabbat meal can attest – B”AH he really knows his stuff.

In any event, the siyum itself was incredibly beautiful. The festivities began with mincha at the Kotel, followed by a tour of the Rova. (ESG had actually been on this same tour before. You walk around the Old City and just “happen” to bump into “Avraham Avinu” and then “Yitzchak Avinu” etc. It’s actually quite cute.)

After the tour, the boys, their parents, and the ra”mim all went to Rav Neventzal’s house for the actual siyum. Rav Neventzal gave them a brachah, and one of the fathers made the Hadran.

Finally, there was a fleishig seudah (bourekas and deli) in the courtyard of a school there in the Rova. Each boy received a copy of “Encylopedia L’Birkot HaNehenin” and a certificate. Here is a [slightly edited due to security considerations] picture of ESG’s certificate:

(You can click on the picture to enlarge it.)

Meanwhile, on the renovations front, the carpenter spent a few hours working on the aronot in AMG’s room this morning. Let’s check out what he has accomplished so far.

We think that this will be the shoe drawers on the bottom:

And here are the drawers themselves:

Here is part of the closet: (The white thing in front is the bathroom cabinet.)

Well, that’s about it for now.

As always, we encourage our readers to leave comments.

Good night from the entire Our Shiputzim staff.

The week in culinary review

Helloooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

Since we’ve already established that food posts make excellent blog fodder, I think we’ll go that route again.

Today’s topic is:

What did you have for supper each night this week?

Please leave a comment, and tell us about your meals during the Nine Days.

I’ll get the ball rolling by posting what we had:

Sunday: Fish sticks, salad, and canned corn

Monday: Pizza

Tuesday: Tuna croquettes, mashed potatoes, and cut up vegetables

Wednesday: Vegetable soup, parve schnitzel and parve hot dogs, pita, potato chips, and cut up vegetables

Thursday: Lasagna and cut up vegetables

And now it’s your turn: The comment section is at your disposal.

Sorry, but we didn’t take any pictures of any of our meals.

Instead, here’s a picture of some of the materials for the closet in AMG’s room:

And also:

You probably won’t be able to get an exact feel for the color, but this should give you a general idea.

As with the bathroom cabinet, the carpenter is I”YH supposed to come after Tisha B’Av and put the closet up.

On that note, we wish all our readers an easy and meaningful fast.

בברכת מהרה יבנה המקדש

ושבת שלום

The entire Our Shiputzim staff

Our reliable fans

Hellooooo, Our Shiputzim readers!

Now, I realize that when some of our more loyal readers see this post’s title, they will become very excited.

“Wow! A post all about us,” they'll probably say. “We can’t wait to read what will surely be a paean to our many virtues.”

Well, I hate to burst your bubble and all, but, unfortunately, your fifteen minutes of fame have not yet arrived. In other words, this post is not about you.

No, this post is about the other kind of fans. You know, the kind that cools you off. The kind that you dig out of your attic and turn on when your A/C has decided to conk out on you….

I’m sure that most of you can see where this is headed, and I probably can just stop here. However, since I have nothing else to write about, I figure I might as well milk it for all its worth. So here goes.

Last night, at around 9:00, our A/C stopped working. YZG spent some time fiddling, but to no avail. So, we called the appliance repairman, and he arrived at around 10:00 this morning. It turned out that the problem was with the controller board attached to the unit in the ceiling. The repairman jury-rigged something for today and will I”YH return tomorrow to finish the job.

As an aside, I should note that this is far from this same repairman’s first appearance in the blog. In fact, as you will no doubt recall, he played a significant role in this post and also in this post.

In completely unrelated news, here is a picture of what will eventually be the cabinet in the upstairs bathroom:

Right now, it’s sitting in AMG’s room, waiting for the carpenter to come install it IY”H after Tisha B’Av.

That’s about all for now.

Don’t forget to tune in again tomorrow – same Our Shiputzim time, same Our Shiputzim channel.