Pre-storm housekeeping

As the entire country stocks up and braces for last year’s major winter storm – because why shouldn’t we take it for granted that this week’s storm will be an exact copy of the blizzard of December 2013? – now’s probably a good time to take care of some blogging housekeeping by finally sharing some post-Chanukah thoughts.

But first, I hope you all had a wonderful, joyous, and light-filled Chanukah!

Zot Chanukah 5775

And now without further ado, some post-Chanukah notes:

1) Before he summarily and abruptly resigned, the former education minister decided, for reasons best known to himself, to shorten Chanukah vacation – to the dismay and indignation of schoolchildren across the country.

And since it soon became apparent that the change was – like many of the former minister’s so-called reforms – hastily conceived and poorly implemented, the kids weren’t the only ones who were annoyed.

Because the result was that no two Shiputzim kids had the exact same vacation schedule, and thus, your humble blogger spent much of Chanukah asking, “Remind me again. Who is off tomorrow?”

2) Due to a bit of car trouble (hopefully more about THAT in an upcoming post), we found ourselves homebound more than we originally planned.

But it turned out that our unintended staycation had a silver lining.

With nothing else to do, the younger Shiputzim kids had a chance to watch both “The Princess Bride” and “Singin’ in the Rain,” and now YZG and I can say that we’ve fulfilled two of our essential parental obligations…

Stay safe, warm, and dry, and enjoy the snow!

Film Friday: Fill the Void Edition

Warning: The International Blogging Federation’s Oversight Committee has determined that the following post is in direct violation of Article XII-3298-A763 (“Posting Film Friday Posts On a Sunday”) of the Blogging Code. Proceed at your own risk.

Last night, YZG and I went to see a movie.

In the theater.

Which - considering the fact that as far as we can recall, the last movie we saw by ourselves in a movie theater was Sleepless In Seattle – was unusual in and of itself.

But that wasn’t the strangest part.

Because the thing that makes our cinematic date night blog-worthy is that we saw a Hebrew-language movie.

Which had no English subtitles.

And yet, we both really enjoyed the movie and highly recommend it!

If you live here in Israel, you’ll no doubt have guessed by now that we saw “Fill the Void” (i.e. “למלא את החלל” for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you) – a wonderful and critically-acclaimed movie that was written and directed by chareidi filmmaker Rama Burshtein.

The storyline is fairly simple. A chassidish 18-year-old girl’s mother wants her to marry her deceased sister’s widower. In other words, there are no major plot turns or shocking developments.

But the amazing and nuanced acting, the brilliant cinematography, and the painstakingly-accurate dialogue, sets, and costumes all add up to a charming movie.

A certain Our Shiputzim reader referred to it as “a chareidi romantic-comedy,” and IMHO, that’s an excellent description.

Unlike many other movies about chareidim, “Fill the Void” is neither a mean-spirited attack on the chareidi world nor a lame attempt at apologetics. Rather, it’s a warm-hearted, sweet, and extremely believable (the mascara scene happened more or less in its entirety to a certain Shiputzim family member) film that just happens to take place in a chassidish community.

Furthermore, Burshtein, who clearly knows her way around this community and gets nearly every single detail right, doesn’t insult her audience’s intelligence.

For example, when the characters sit around a table in dressy clothes and sing, the filmmaker doesn’t need to hit the audience over the head with a maudlin candle lighting scene to announce that it’s now Friday night. Instead, a character’s throwaway comment that he’s on his way to “the tisch” serves the same purpose – albeit in a more subtle and much more effective fashion.

Bottom line: As much as I tend to shy away from hyperbole, I have to say that “Fill the Void” is truly a “must-see” movie. You won’t want to miss it.

Have you seen “Fill the Void”?

The Resident Ulpanistit’s Day Off

Just about two years ago, I blogged about the fact that Israeli high school seniors have almost no classes during the second half of the school year, and I noted that, ironically, a certain then-senior spent a weekday afternoon watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Fast forward to the past couple of weeks, when a different high school senior of my acquaintance – namely, the Resident Ulpanistit - has been going on “sayarot” (i.e. going on interviews for Sherut Leumi (National Service) for next year IY”H) and, as a result, has missed quite a few days of school.

Thus, the following Super Bowl ad seems highly appropriate for today:

And in the meantime, watch this space for a full post about the Sherut Leumi application process in all its absurd, inane, and completely ridiculous glory.

B”N, I hope to finish said post as soon as the Resident Ulpanistit, well, “closes on” (if you’ll excuse my Heblish) a specific position…

Heading to the Great Indoors

“Let me guess. When you blog about this place, the post will begin: ‘Admittedly, it wasn’t a national park, but we had a very nice time anyway.’ Yes?” YCT (who’s always been like a brother to me) asked rhetorically.

And, as you can see, he was right…

But I’m getting ahead of myself…

After a beautiful Shabbat Chanukah in Avnei Eitan, the original plan was to spend this past Sunday at Gamla (seeing as how it’s a national park and all…).

But the weekend’s wonderfully wet and windy winter weather (try saying that five times fast…) meant that we had to scramble to find an indoor attraction instead. (Actually, this was the third year in a row that we tried – unsuccessfully – to get to Gamla. Indeed, as far as the extended Shiputzim family is concerned, Gamla has become the Holy Grail of Chanukah trips… :-))

Ice skating in Maalot was one option, but we had all been there two years ago (in lieu of Gamla…), and the family members who were doing the driving were reluctant to brave the dense fogs.

And so, in keeping with the whole Chanukah theme, a visit to a boutique olive oil plant in Katzrin was the answer:

The sign reads: “Beit HaBad Shel HaGolan – Katzrin” (“The Golan Olive Press – Katzrin”)

ACSC (=a certain Shiputzim child) – who, just before Chanukah, went on a school trip to Neot Kedumim and got to see how olive oil was produced during the time of the Second Beit HaMikdash – especially enjoyed learning how the process works today:

The large tanks where the olive oil is stored

After watching the requisite movie (I believe that by law, all tourist attractions must include some sort of audio/visual presentation…) and seeing the machinery, visitors get to taste the different types of olive oil and also sample the various cosmetic products produced from the olives.

Tasting the different types of olive oil

Supposedly, the factory’s basalt structure was modeled after an ancient synagogue.

What are some of your favorite indoor attractions in the North?

“Sorry, it’s not to scale…”

Longtime readers know that we here at Our Shiputzim pride ourselves on our commitment to delivering hard-hitting exposés on topical issues affecting our communities.

{ignores the snickering and the snide remarks}

Whether it’s worrisome trends like transparent wrapping paper or troubling developments such as winged chupahs, we’re on the case.

But all of these pale in comparison to the absurd so-called maps provided by simchah halls around the country.

Indeed, any resemblance between real maps and these highly inaccurate and extremely misleading sketches is purely coincidental.

After all, consider the following:

• 1) In the mapmakers’ universe, there are apparently no twists, turns, or curves. Instead, all the roads – yes, even major highways! - are ruler straight and perfectly parallel to each other.
• 2) Random cross streets, key intersections, most traffic lights, and other important landmarks – you know, anything that would actually HELP the driver reach his/her destination… - are usually missing.
• 3) The mapmakers don’t even PRETEND to draw to scale.*

And thus, as a result of innocently relying on one of these alleged “maps”, many guests often get hopelessly lost on their way to the affair.

Hmm.

Maybe this explains why Israeli smachot rarely start on time….

________

* On a related note, can you believe that the first “Back to the Future” movie is now celebrating its twenty-fifth anniversary??!!