Little Bo Peep has lost her… cows?

Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for parental boasting. Proceed at your own risk.

It’s like watching a train wreck.

What with Yom HaAtzma’ut and even Pesach Sheni behind us, it’s just a matter of days before Lag BaOmer arrives in all its flaming, sooty, and incomprehensible glory.

For those just tuning in, Lag BaOmer, aka “the Night of the Tightly Sealed Windows,” consistently ranks (at least for adults) alongside Chodesh Irgun at the very top of the annual “what time of year do you dread the most” poll.

But while there’s absolutely nothing one can do to prevent Lag BaOmer from happening, one CAN turn to the time-honored traditions of avoidance and denial in a desperate attempt at mitigating some of its inherent unpleasantness.

To this end – and with your indulgence, of course - I’d like to take a few minutes to remind myself that being the Anglo parent of Israeli offspring isn’t always about heaps of smoke-infused laundry and enough stockpiled wood to light up, well, a small country…

After all, upon occasion, those very same Israeli offspring have a habit of accomplishing some pretty amazing things.

(Yes, this is where the aforementioned parental bragging begins…)

For instance, as you may recall, a few months ago I featured a poster that a certain Shiputzim daughter had skillfully drawn for her Mishnah class.

Recently, she had to make another project for the same class, and this time, she chose to make a diorama about Bava Metzia 2:9, which asks, “what is an aveidah (a lost item)?”

As you can see in the following pictures, the right side represents a case which isn’t considered to be an aveidah (“one who found a donkey or a cow grazing along the road”), and the left side depicts an example of something that IS an aveidah (“a cow runs among the vineyards”):

As always, please click on the pictures for a much better view.

</parental boasting>

What is your preferred method for dealing with Lag BaOmer’s nuisances?

!שבת שלום ומבורך

Euphonic Friday: Mazal tov edition

As you may recall, a few months ago, the J-blogging world collided head-on with the real life world when I had the honor of making my very first shidduch.

Unfortunately, YZG and I were unable to attend the wedding in person. However, thanks to the miracle of Facebook photo sharing and also thanks to the thoughtful Our Shiputzim reader who sent us pictures in real time straight from the chupah, we were very much there in spirit.

Mazal tov to the chatan and kallah and also to their dear parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins!!

יהי רצון שתזכו לבנות בית נאמן בישראל!

The beautiful wedding took place on Lag BaOmer, and what better way to celebrate than with a joyful song. (The video was shot in the area around the soon-to-be former bridge to nowhere.)

!שבת שלום ומבורך

Iyar Top Ten

The Our Shiputzim Editorial Board proudly presents:

The Top 10 Reasons That Iyar Rates As One of the Twelve Best Months to Be Living in Israel

10) The entire country is decorated in blue and white.

9) The IDF – which, as I’ve noted before, does its very best to ensure that religious soldiers’ needs are met – automatically grants shaving exemptions for the duration of Sefirah to any soldier who so requests.

8) The shaving exemption even applies to IDF soldiers appearing on national television during the Yom HaZikaron ceremony at the Kotel.

7) In any given year, at least one of your kids is chosen to play an active role in a Yom HaZikaron/Yom HaAtzma’ut ceremony – whether in gan, school, your community, or even the army.

6) Three years after I first shared my in-laws’ incredible pictures of the Kotel in the summer of 1967, that post continues to be extremely popular - especially in the weeks leading up to Yom Yerushalayim.

5) That satisfying feeling of accomplishment you get after successfully completing yet-another Iyar Challenge (i.e. supplying each of your kids with enough white shirts to make it through the first week of Iyar).

4) The amazing seasonal music. (See, for example, Udi Davidi’s beautiful Hitna'ari (including a translation).)

3) Four words: Yom HaAtzma’ut in Israel. There’s nothing like it!

2) The way the Pesach/Yom HaShoah/Yom HaZikaron/Yom HaAtzma’ut/Yom Yerushalayim/Shavuot continuum serves as a poignant reminder that the future of the Jewish People is here in Israel, where we’re B”H privileged to have front row seats on Jewish history.

1) The newly-minted four-day Lag BaOmer weekend…

!שבת שלום ול”ג-ל”ד שמח

Waiting period

It’s an age-old question:

How soon after Pesach may one resume baking chametz brownies?

Immediately? Not until after Lag BaOmer? Well into the summer? Rosh Hashanah?

After all, in many households – TRLEOOB* included – brownies are considered to be a Pesach staple. (B”N, I’ll try to post the Shiputzim family’s favorite Pesach brownie recipe in Nissan IY”H.)

Naturally, this means that by the end of Pesach, no one wants to even LOOK at another brownie.

<brief aside> Have you ever met anyone who did NOT insist that their Pesach brownies “taste even BETTER than chametz” [sic]? And yet for some reason, once that last Pesach dish is put away, no one bothers with their flourless dessert recipes anymore… :-) </aside>

My personal take is that Shavuot is an ideal time to bring brownies back into the baking fold.

But if that seems brazenly early for you, why not consider making brownies with a twist? Say, for instance, brownies with ganache?

Admittedly, healthy or dietetic, they aren’t – what with the evil pareve cream and all (see recipe below) - but hey, if it means that your family can start indulging in these classic chocolate treats sooner, one could easily make a case that calories and chemicals are a small price to pay. Don’t you agree?

Ganache-Covered Brownies

Based on my friend E.’s brownie recipe and adapted from here.

Ingredients

• 2 cups sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 2/3 cup oil
• 4 eggs
• ¾ cup cocoa
• 1½ cups flour

Ganache

• ½ container pareve cream
• 250 grams semisweet or bittersweet chocolate (we used a combination of the two)

Directions

Mix brownie ingredients together by hand and pour into a baking-paper-lined  9x13 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes or until done. Let cool in pan.

Melt parve whip and chocolate together in the microwave. Pour the ganache over the brownies in the pan and spread. Refrigerate.

!בתאבון

__________

*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

Lag BaOmer in the fall

No, don’t worry, your calendar is correct. It really IS Elul – and not Iyar.

I mention this, because if you’re the parent of Israeli teens, you’d be forgiven for thinking that you blinked and somehow missed half a year.

After all, sometime in the past few weeks, your child probably stayed out all night on a school-sanctioned activity and then had a day off the following day, and it’s understandable if you mistakenly assumed that Lag BaOmer had come early this year.

And, so, I’m here to tell you – because your shaliach probably didn’t – that in many places, Elul boasts not one, but TWO official excuses for going without sleep:

1) Siyur Slichot

A siyur slichot (literally, a Slichot – i.e. penitential prayers - tour) is a nighttime trip during Elul to a religiously-significant location (such as Yerushalayim’s Old City or Tzfat), and typically involves a scenic walk (a Shiputzim son hiked this week from the top of Har HaZeitim to the Kotel, via Yad Avshalom and Sha’ar HaAshpot), an inspirational talk or two, and finally, reciting Slichot.

2) The Hashba’ah

The hashba’ah (literally, swearing in ceremony) is a sort of traditional initiation rite organized by the high school seniors (i.e. the shministim*, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you) for the young freshmen (patronizingly-referred to as chamshushim*).

<Brief aside> I was under the impression that the hashba’ah is pretty much universal, but Hannah says that none of her kids’ schools have one. How about your children’s high schools? </aside>

But lest you’re picturing a cruel hazing ritual, I should explain that at least in the yeshiva high schools and ulpanot, the ra”mim/mechanchot are in attendance the entire time and ensure that the event remains strictly within the bounds of what the school feels is appropriate.

In fact, as the nervous ninth graders quickly discover, the much-hyped hashba’ah - which they were originally so scared about - proves to be little more than a surprise nighttime tiyul, and everyone gets a t-shirt at the end... :-)

As noted above, the day after the hashba’ah and the siyur slichot, the kids have a day off – even though the school year just started and all the Tishrei holidays are right around the corner.

And thus, both events fall firmly under the category of: “Things I Still Don’t Understand, Despite Having Made Aliyah 13 Years Ago”…

_____________

* The terms shminist (literally, one belonging to the shminit – i.e. the eighth) and chamshush (a semi-derogatory way of saying “one belonging to the chamishit” – i.e. the fifth) are both vestigial throwbacks to the gymnasia system. The first form was the equivalent of today’s fifth grade, and the last – or eighth – form corresponded to today’s twelfth grade.

Lag BaOmer vs. Chodesh Irgun

It’s an age-old question.

Which is worse: Lag BaOmer or Chodesh Irgun?

Of course, if you’d ask me today, I’d have to go with Lag BaOmer, hands down.

But I admit that I may be somewhat biased, because this year’s regular Lag BaOmer after effects were only exacerbated by a number of scheduling conflicts.

For instance:

• A young man I know went to a bar mitzvah last night – i.e. the night after the bonfire - and didn’t get home until nearly midnight.
• Today was the math bagrut. (“Don’t worry,” a certain teenager assured me. “I’ll be home early [sic]. Our medurah is going to end at 2 am, because everyone needs to study…”)

In other words, a more objective approach to this issue is in order, and thus I have taken the liberty of preparing the following chart:

Lag BaOmer	Chodesh Irgun
Exhausted, kvetchy kids	Exhausted, kvetchy kids
Bemused, exasperated, but ultimately resigned parents	Bemused, exasperated, but ultimately resigned parents
Clothes reeking of smoke	Clothes splattered with paint
The hypnotic glow of the bonfire	The hypnotic glow of the ooltra
Parents waiting anxiously for their darling offspring to come home	Parents waiting anxiously for their darling offspring’s performances to come to an end
An entire month wasted spent collecting wood and searching for an ideal bonfire spot	An entire month wasted spent painting the snif and rehearsing the performances
Fodder for many an Our Shiputzim blog post	Fodder for many an Our Shiputzim blog post
Begs the question: What do the kids do all night??	Begs the question: Is the new shevet’s name better than HaGevurah??
Overheard: “It’s 3:00 AM. Do you know where your kids are?”	Overheard: “We need to finish making all the tchuparim before the yashvatz!”
Adored by kids; barely tolerated by parents	Adored by kids; barely tolerated by parents
Only in Israel!	Only in Israel!

So, what do YOU think: Lag BaOmer or Chodesh Irgun?

Don’t forget to show your work… ;-)

__________

P.S. The newest Haveil Havalim is available here. Special thanks to the Rebbetzin's Husband for including my Iyar Challenge post.

The Iyar Challenge

Whew!

That was close!

But, B”H, I think we did it. Another (more or less) successful Iyar Challenge has been completed…

{catches breath and heaves a huge sigh of relief}

What’s that you say?

You’ve never heard of the Iyar Challenge?

Well, then, I suppose I’m going to have to write a post about it. (And look! By a fortunate coincidence, this post’s title is all about this very topic… ;-))

I should begin by explaining that the term “Iyar Challenge” suggests different things to different people. For instance:

• For cheesecake fans, it refers to counting Sefirah with a brachah every night until Shavuot.
• For Israeli kids, it implies collecting ridiculous amounts of wood for the Lag BaOmer bonfire.
• For Israeli teens, it alludes to the odd custom of staying out all night - right in the middle of bagrut season.

But as parents of Israeli schoolchildren are well-aware, the real Iyar Challenge is ensuring that one’s offspring have enough white shirts to make it through the first week of Iyar.

Because after all, the beginning of Iyar is essentially one long kacholavan day - including most of the following:

• Two days of Rosh Chodesh
• The day before Yom HaZikaron (i.e. the day when many gannanot celebrate Yom HaAtzma’ut with their young charges)
• Yom HaZikaron
• Yom HaAtzma’ut, at night (assuming, that is, that the Yom HaZikaron shirt is no longer, um, as white as it could be…)
• Yom HaAtzma’ut, during the day
• One or two Shabbatot (depending on the year)

In other words, we’re talking about a minimum of 5-6 white shirts per child – and, usually,  a great deal more than that – within a 7-8 day span!

Furthermore, remember that the Iyar Challenge comes right on the heels of Pesach and the countless white shirts that it entails…

Note: The jury is still out on whether school uniforms are helpful or a hindrance in this regard. On one hand, the overall white shirt supply is increased. But on the other hand, most of the white shirts can now only be worn on Shabbat and Yom HaAtzma’ut itself. </note>

Thus, as you can see, the Iyar Challenge is extremely demanding.

Oh, and to those who would insist that the Chidon HaTanach is the real Iyar Challenge, all I can say is: You obviously aren’t responsible for your family’s laundry…

How do you handle the Iyar Challenge?

________

P.S. The latest Haveil Havalim is available here. Special thanks to Susan for including my tribute to my grandmother z”l.

The Top 10 Ways You Know It’s Lag BaOmer

10. The entire country reeks of smoke.

9. Music is blaring from every speaker in your house.

8. All of your windows are sealed shut…

7. …But when your kids finally stumble home, with their clothes smelling like a bonfire, you wonder why you bothered.

6. The males in your household are no longer scruffy or desperately in need of haircuts.

5. No matter how veteran an Israeli you are, you still can’t figure out what your kids are doing all night.

4. You and your neighbors have been laying odds as to whose child will win the exciting finals of every parent’s favorite game, Who Can Be the Kvetchiest?

3. You overhear someone asking, “It’s 2:00 AM. Do you know where your kids are?”

2. And the answer is, “Out somewhere in the dark, playing with fire…”

1. The latest Haveil Havalim is available here. (Special thanks to my friend Toby for including two of my posts: A Decision Has [Finally] Been Made and My Blog in a Nutshell.)

Happy Lag BaOmer!

Vindication!

An ongoing debate here in TRLEOOB (and, I suspect, in many other households across the country and around the world as well) revolves around the question of “how much sleep do teenagers need?”

You see, certain members of the younger generation claim that – all evidence to the contrary – a scant 6-7 hours a night is more than sufficient.

Thus, I was very pleased that the following incident occurred in the presence of the entire Shiputzim family:

During the course of a recent Shabbat meal, a family friend – who happens to be a well-respected pediatrician – casually mentioned that:

“Teenagers need ten to twelve hours of sleep a night… just like two-year olds.”

I’m sure you’ll understand why I decided that today – the day after Lag BaOmer – would be an appropriate time to record the doctor’s statement for posterity…

…והמבין יבין

Smoked tuna and other, er, delicacies

Everyone knows that Lag BaOmer in Israel is synonymous with bonfires (i.e. medurot, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you). Indeed, every available piece of wood is snatched up weeks in advance, and by Lag BaOmer morning, the entire country reeks of smoke.

But some aspects of this annual ritual are less well-known.

For instance, new olim might not be aware that the kids stay out until early in the morning, when they stumble home, take showers, and jump into bed. (Actually, in our circles, the boys first go to shul to daven at the vatikin minyan, where they promptly fall asleep before the shaliach tzibur has reached Barchu. But I digress…)

This bizarre custom naturally begs the question: What do they do all night?!

And so, as a public service, we here at Our Shiputzim decided to investigate.

Following is the transcript of an interview with a typical Israel teenager (henceforth: ATIT), who agreed to shed some light on this burning question (pun intended).

Our Shiputzim: So, what DO you do there all night?

A Typical Israeli Teenager: Make food, play games, sing, I don’t know.

OS: Food? Could you be more specific?

ATIT: Well, each year it’s different, but there’s always some type of meat. For example, hot dogs, kebobs, wings. We usually grill them on the mangal (BBQ).

OS: What else?

ATIT: Usually there’s soup, sometimes spaghetti, salad, French fries. We make a small fire, next to the medurah, and cook the soup and the pasta over it. The French fries – sometimes, we cut them up from potatoes and fry them in a pot. And other times, we fry ready-made chips.

OS: Please tell me about “smoked tuna” (first referenced here on Our Shiputzim in Rachel’s comment on this post).

ATIT: We don’t make smoked tuna at medurot. It’s more for camping and trips, but I’ll tell you how to prepare it anyway. You take a can of tuna fish in oil and open it without squeezing out the oil. Then, you take a tissue and put it on top of the can. Soak the middle of the tissue in the oil. Then, you light the tissue all around. The fire uses the oil as fuel, and the tissue acts as the wick. When the oil is used up, the fire goes out. You move the tissue, and you can eat the tuna fish.

OS: I understand that the burning can is also used for cooking other things?

ATIT: Yes, that’s correct. If you want, you can put rocks around the can and put a pot on top. You can then cook something – like soup or spaghetti or French fries – in the pot.

OS: Getting back to the medurah, is there anything else you can tell us?

ATIT: I guess, just that the main part is making the food and eating it.

OS: And that takes all night?

ATIT: Well, it takes a long time, because there’s a lot of food, and it takes a while for everything to cook. And besides, that’s what the games and the singing are for – to fill in the time between all the food…

OS: Thank you, ATIT, and may you have a very happy Lag BaOmer.

!חג שמח

Tiiiiiimber!

The symbolism was striking.

Today was Yom HaShoah, the day we commemorate the destruction of European Jewry. The day we remember the vibrant, flourishing Jewish communities which were violently uprooted.

And due to a quirk in the tree man’s schedule, today was also the day we chopped down the tallest tree in our yard.

You see, we recently discovered that the roots had spread wide rather than deep and that the tree was inherently unstable. In other words, if we didn’t cut down the tree, it would likely be felled by a strong gust of wind – probably right through our relatively new roof.

So, we called the tree man, and he and his crew arrived today.

Here’s the tree in all its glory. If you look closely, you can see the tree man at the very top:

Here are two movies showing the tree being cut down:

And:

Here’s the stump:

May the next tree we plant grow deep and stable roots, and may it serve as a symbol of Am Yisrael’s deep and unbreakable bond with Eretz Yisrael.

___________

P.S. And, yes, in case you were wondering, the vultures neighborhood kids descended as soon as the tree was down, asking if they could take wood for Lag BaOmer. (YZG cautioned them that the wood probably wouldn’t dry in time, but they didn’t seem to be overly concerned…)