The Top 10 Signs You’re Living in the Corona Era

The Top 10 Signs You’re Living in the Corona Era

10) You notice that the Ministry of Unwritten Regulations has apparently decreed that every ad – whether in print (in one of the very few publications that are still being distributed) or online - must contain either a picture of a mask or an illustration of a coronavirus. Bonus points if the virus resembles a cuddly cartoon character.

9) Another day, another 17 “davening at home” jokes.

8) Shabbat feels like you’re in a Jane Austen novel. Everyone is dressed up in elegant clothes; there is nowhere to go; you meet the exact same people at every meal; and after dinner, you retire to the modern day equivalent of the drawing room, where you all sit around and talk and read. And if you get really bored, you can always take a turn about the room…

7) “Where/how are you doing your Pesach grocery shopping?” is the new “where will you be/who is coming to you for the Seder this year?”

6) Even your two-year-old grandchildren have been using Zoom to get together with the other kids from their ma'on (daycare center).

5) You’ve lost track of how many times someone has quoted all or at least part of the pasuk:

לֵךְ עַמִּי בֹּא בַחֲדָרֶיךָ וּסְגֹר דלתיך בַּעֲדֶךָ חֲבִי כִמְעַט רֶגַע עַד יעבור זָעַם
(“Go, My nation, come into your chambers and close your door behind you; hide for a brief moment, until the wrath shall pass.” --Yishaya 26:20)

4) Over the past week alone, you’ve attended a bat mitzvah, a hanachat tefilin, a baby naming, and several weddings, and not one of the other guests noticed or cared that you were wearing pajamas and slippers the entire time.

3) You have trouble remembering that only 3-4 weeks ago(!!), you had never even heard of terms like social distancing and flattening the curve.

2) You go outside to your backyard for a breath of fresh air, and your next door neighbor greets you from HER yard. As the two of you stand there catching up, separated by a wall and significantly more than two meters of space, you get to pretend that you’re Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor from “Home Improvement” chatting with Wilson over the fence. 

1) After shamelessly neglecting your blog for years and years, you’re suddenly inspired to sit down and write a post.

😊

Wishing you and your families only good health, and may we all soon be privileged to share besurot tovot, yeshu’ot v’nechamot (good tidings, salvation, and consolation).

Assorted Blogbits

In lieu of a full-length post, here are several items of interest or note:

1) In a beautiful dvar Torah he delivered at a bar mitzvah this past Shabbat, YZG said that R’ Tzadok of Lublin explained that simchah (joy) is about optimism and our hope for the future. (For instance, the simchah of Adar is connected to the fact that Nissan – the month of Geulah (Redemption) - is right around the corner.) And on a related note, JPost has a wonderful piece about Israelis' rosy outlook on life.

2) The latest Haveil Havalim is available here. Special thanks to Esser Agaroth for including my post about religious soldiers and today's IDF.

3) Tis the season to, er, dust off the Our Shiputzim General Theory of Pesach Preparations. (IMNSHO, the best part of this plan is that there’s very little actual cleaning involved… :-))

4) Speaking of Pesach, a few years ago I observed that life in Bnei Brak continues to resemble the Haggadah. But as Rafi G. reports, Bnei Brak’s mayor thinks that it’s time for a change.

5) In an amazing take on the mitzvah of bikur cholim, students from the Jerusalem Academy of Music and Dance flash-waltzed Tchaikovsky's “Waltz of the Flowers” at Yerushalayim’s Hadassah Hospital:

6) And finally, did you know that Our Shiputzim updates are available on Facebook? Simply head on over to the Our Shiputzim FB page and click “Like.”

!בשורות טובות

Taiglach

For obvious reasons, most people consider taiglach – those honey-drenched, boiled Ashkenazi pastries – to be a traditional Rosh Hashanah delicacy.

Yet as far as the extended Shiputzim family is concerned, taiglach have long been associated with, well, bar mitzvahs.

For instance, family lore tells how my great-aunt z”l made her famous taiglach for my father’s bar mitzvah.

But seeing as she had to schlep three days by bus while holding the fragile dish of taiglach on her lap, she couldn’t bring too many, and thus, each person at the bar mitzvah was entitled to exactly one of the precious treats.

Fast forward to the next generation, when my dear maternal grandmother z”l prepared taiglach, according to her mother’s recipe, for my brothers’ bar mitzvahs and even whipped up – I use the term loosely; taiglach are a HUGE patchke - a batch for a bris or two.

Of course, her idea of a “batch” was actually a gallon’s worth.

Legend has it that the first time one of the relatives from my father’s side saw that huge container of taiglach, he was stunned. “I’ve never seen that many taiglach at once in my entire life!” he exclaimed.

These days, the taiglach mantle has passed to my mother, who has earned a well-deserved reputation as a skilled taiglach expert. Not only did she prepare taiglach for each of the Shiputzim sons’ bar mitzvahs – see, for example, here and here – but random distant cousins have been known to call her up for taiglach-related advice.

My Mother’s Taiglach

Most members of the Shiputzim family are adamant that taiglach taste best when eaten with a toothpick, but YMMV.

Ingredients

• 4 eggs
• 2 TBSP oil
• ¼ tsp dried ginger
• 2 2/3 cups flour
• Raisins

Syrup

• 2/3 kilo honey
• 3 1/3 cups sugar
• 1 tsp dried ginger
• 2/3 cup boiling hot water

Directions

Combine eggs, oil, ¼ tsp ginger, and flour into a soft dough. (If the dough is too dry, add a bit of water.)

Roll the dough into long, ¾-inch-diameter “snakes” and flatten. Dot the snakes with a generous amount of raisins and then roll the dough around the raisins until they’re covered. Using a sharp knife, cut the snakes into ¾-inch-long pieces. Set aside.

In a large pot, combine honey and sugar and bring to a boil. Lower the flame to medium heat, and then carefully drop the taiglach into the syrup, one at a time, without stirring.

When all the taiglach have floated to the top and the taiglach are almost ready, add the remaining 1 tsp of ginger and gently mix through.

When the taiglach are golden-brown, turn off the heat and immediately add the boiling water.

Let cool and store in a sealed container. (Taiglach keep for weeks on end --- assuming that no one eats them first...)

Note from my mother: A teaspoon or so of the honey syrup is great with a cup of tea.

Thank you, Imma, for graciously sharing your recipe!
P.S. Laura posted her own taiglach recipe here.

לשנה טובה תכתבו ותחתמו לאלתר לחיים טובים ולשלום!

May you all have a wonderful, happy, healthy, prosperous, and sweet new year!

“And you shall bind them for a sign”

וְשַׂמְתֶּם אֶת דְּבָרַי אֵלֶּה עַל לְבַבְכֶם וְעַל נַפְשְׁכֶם וּקְשַׁרְתֶּם אֹתָם לְאוֹת עַל יֶדְכֶם וְהָיוּ לְטוֹטָפֹת בֵּין עֵינֵיכֶם. 

“And you shall place these words of Mine upon your heart and upon your soul; and you shall bind them for a sign upon your arm and they shall be for ornaments between your eyes.” (Devarim 11:18)

As longtime readers are aware, it’s been about five months BA”H since the most recent Shiputzim bar mitzvah.

However, due to technical reasons beyond my control, I was unable to post pictures of the bar mitzvah boy’s beautiful tefillin bag until today.

But now this issue has finally been resolved, and so, without further ado, here’s the lovely tefillin bag that the bar mitzvah boy’s Savta designed and needle-pointed for him:

As always, please feel free to click on the picture for a closer look.

Of course, this is far from the first tefillin bag that this particular Savta made. Additional examples of her handiwork are available here and here.

May the bar mitzvah boy continue to use his tefillin in good health and happiness ad 120, and may he and each of his siblings continue to bring incredible joy and nachat to us, their grandparents, and all of Klal Yisrael.

As the fast ebbs away

It’s a fast day today (there’s about twenty minutes left to go, but who’s counting…), and you know what that means.

That’s right! It means that it’s time for a food-related post – especially since I just realized that I never got around to posting the menu from the bar mitzvah.

Here, then, is the Friday night menu:

• Appetizer: Sweet and sour meatballs; couscous.
• Main course: Brisket; schnitzel; potato kugel; mushroom rice; lettuce salad; health salad; corn salad.
• Dessert: Assorted cookies, bars, and squares; taiglach*; tea and coffee.

Not really coincidentally, many of the aforementioned baked goods have appeared on the blog, such as:

Black and white cookies and cinnamon swirl cookies

 Chocolate swirl blondies (and also Torah-shaped cookies and more black and white cookies)

But there were plenty of new recipes as well. For instance:

Two tone brownies (and also chocolate chip cookies)

Two Tone Brownies

Adapted from a recipe my mother copied from a magazine (?) many years ago

Ingredients

• 2/3 cup canola oil
• 2 cups sugar
• 4 eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 cups flour
• 6 TBSP cocoa
• 4 tsp canola oil (for the chocolate layer)

Directions

Beat 2/3 cup of oil and sugar. Beat in eggs. Add vanilla and flour. Mix batter, and pour half in a baking-paper-lined 9x13 pan.

Add cocoa and 4 teaspoons of oil to the remaining batter, and mix through. Pour chocolate batter over the white batter in the pan. If you like, you can use a knife to create a marble pattern.

Bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes or until done.

!בתאבון

Have an easy and meaningful fast!

_________

*B”N, I  plan on writing a post about taiglach – as soon as I get the recipe… </not so subtle hint :-) >

 

Happy Chanukah!

I’m not really back to blogging yet, but I wanted to quickly touch base in order to thank you for all the wonderful comments and emails about the bar mitzvah and to wish you a happy Chanukah!

B”H, the bar mitzvah weekend was beautiful; we all had a great time; and <maternal boasting> the bar mitzvah boy did an amazing job BA”H. </boasting>

As soon as things calm down a bit, I’ll B”N try and post a few details about the menu etc. and maybe even a recipe or two.

But in the meantime – and in order to combine this post’s two themes (i.e. the bar mitzvah and Chanukah) – here are a few pictures to show you what we used to decorate the tables on Motza”Sh (=Saturday night):

!חג אורים שמח

Bar mitzvah

I first posted the following song back in August, in honor of our family’s aliyah bar mitzvah.

As you may recall, it features one of the Shiputzim kids (but not the current bar mitzvah boy), who recorded the song for his/her grandparents in the States about a year or so after we made aliyah.

For obvious reasons, I decided to repost it today:

!שבת שלום ומבורך

In lieu of original content

Seeing as the entire Our Shiputzim writing staff is off preparing for the upcoming bar mitzvah IY”H, I figured I’d share a handful of posts which you may have missed the first time around:

• Misplaced optimism – Which answers the age-old question: What does Einstein have to do with incessantly-ringing phones?
• Fun and games Friday: Presidential edition - Because nothing says blog fodder like a good game of, er, “Prrrreh-zeedent”…
• Our Shiputzim: Certified international expert? – Apparently so…
• Stuck on you – Many a teenager’s favorite Heblishism is in desperate need of a definition. Can you can help?
• Fashion Friday: The shirt off his back edition – A mother and son discuss fashion.
• Aliyah memories: Walter Mitty edition – Battle of the titans: YZG vs. A Hapless Bureaucrat…

!בשמחות אצל כולנו

_______________

P.S. Our Shiputzim updates are now available on Facebook. Simply head on over to the Our Shiputzim FB page and click “Like”.

The Mizbei’ach

{cue: TV announcer voice}

The challenge: Help your daughter build a model of the Mizbei’ach (the Altar in the Mishkan/Beit HaMikdash) for school, when:

1. The teacher only gave the class three days to complete the assignment.
2. You are IY”H making a bar mitzvah in less than two weeks.
3. Your family’s Klei Beit HaMikdash bar was previously set extremely high by ESG’s gorgeous model of the Mizbach HaKtoret.

Can it be done?

</announcer voice>

I admit that I had serious doubts. As I told ACSD (=a certain Shiputzim daughter), I didn’t even know where to begin.

“But,” I added brightly, albeit rather skeptically. “Maybe Abba will have some ideas.”

And B”H, Abba (aka “YZG” aka “Mr. S.”) did.

In fact, as soon as he heard about ACSD’s assignment, YZG started thinking, and within a few minutes, TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog) had been transformed into a scene straight out of MacGyver.

First, YZG and ACSD headed upstairs to scrounge around the attic.

They reappeared shortly thereafter, armed with an odd assortment of empty shoeboxes, old doorstops, aluminum foil, paper, crayons, scissors, glue, scotch tape, rubber bands, cardboard, toothpicks, recycled plastic containers, and more, and immediately got to work…

I’m sure you’ll agree that the result is pretty amazing:

If you click on the pictures for a closer view, you’ll be able to see some of ACSD’s handwritten labels, which identify each part of the Mizbei’ach.

Beautiful job, ACSD (and YZG)!

May we all be privileged to witness the fulfillment of the words of the daily Amidah prayer, speedily and in our days:

“…וְהָשֵׁב אֶת הָעֲבוֹדָה לִדְבִיר בֵּיתֶךָ, וְאִשֵּׁי יִשְׂרָאֵל וּתְפִלָּתָם בְּאַהֲבָה תְקַבֵּל בְּרָצוֹן, וּתְהִי לְרָצוֹן תָּמִיד עֲבוֹדַת יִשְׂרָאֵל עַמֶּךָ.”

“…And restore the service to the Inner Sanctuary of Your House. And accept the fire-offerings of Israel and their prayer, with love and favor. And may the service of Israel, Your nation, always be favorable to You.”

Two weeks to go

Here’s what’s been going on in TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog) lately:

1) On Sunday, Rosh Chodesh Kislev, I happened to be doing some shopping. (Did I mention that we’re IY”H making a bar mitzvah in a few weeks?)

At the first store, I was trying to figure out if a certain item was machine-washable or not, and so I asked the seemingly-secular saleswoman about the fabric content.

But before I had a chance to explain why I was asking, she immediately responded, “Don’t worry. It’s not shatnez. There’s no wool in it…”

And as I was leaving, she wished me a “chodesh tov” – as did the dreadlocked cashier in the next store.

Five words: Reason #3721 for making aliyah…

2) Have you ever dreamed of writing a guest post for one of the J-Blogosphere’s biggest, most important, most influential, and most widely-read blogs?

Well, I can’t help you there, but as per reader Faith/Emuna’s excellent suggestion, I am offering you the chance to write a guest post for this blog.

If you’re interested, please email me at OurShiputzim at gmail dot com.

3) The other day, YCT (who’s always been like a brother to me) asked me over the phone why I hadn’t written a post about the “extremely cool and sophisticated” – okay, maybe those weren’t his EXACT words… :-) - Access database I designed and used for each of the Shiputzim kids’ bar/bat mitzvahs.

BTW, if you’re making a simchah and would like a copy of the database’s schema, I’d be more than happy to send it to you. It works for bar and bat mitzvahs and, with a bit of minor tweaking, could be easily adapted for weddings as well. </offer you can’t refuse>

In response, I explained to YCT that the reason I haven’t blogged about my database is that I don’t like to show off.

“I can see that,” he replied, clearly much struck by what I had said. “Because, after all, referring to one of your own posts as ‘history in the making’ is the absolute height of modesty and humility…”

!שבת שלום ומבורך

Top 10: On the Road to the Bar Mitzvah

The Our Shiputzim Editorial Board proudly presents:

The Top Ten Signs That You May Be Making a Bar Mitzvah in the Next Couple of Weeks IY”H

10) The entire family is able to lain a certain parsha by heart.

9) Whenever anyone opens their mouth to say anything, you immediately caution, “slow, loud, and clear.”

8) The baking team (aka the tza’ir bakers, in the vernacular) is hard at work.

7) Supper is now a thing of the past, because the dining room table has long since disappeared under an avalanche of invitations and envelopes.

6) You’ve been contacting obscure relatives, in order to ascertain: (a) that they still exist, and if so, (b) their current mailing address.

5) There’s no more room in your freezer.

4) You’ve compiled so many lists that you’ve been working off a list of lists. In fact, you’re seriously considering migrating to a database of lists.

3) If nonstop shopping was an Olympic sport, you’d be well on your way to a gold medal. (Reason #3221 for making aliyah: You don’t have to buy your son a suit or even a tie for his bar mitzvah…)

2) You find yourself trapped deep inside the dreaded Cycle of Invitations. {cue: wild, maniacal laughter}

1) Four words: Less time for blogging…

Aliyah Memories: 13 years later

This week marks the 13th anniversary BA”H of our aliyah, or to put it in blogspeak, our “aliyah bar mitzvah.”

In honor of the occasion, here’s one of the Shiputzim kids singing a bar mitzvah song:

I should explain that the young singer recorded the song to send to his/her grandparents in the States – about a year or so after we made aliyah.

And on a related note, less than three months after we arrived in Israel, a different one of the Shiputzim kids dictated the following email for the same American grandparents:

November 9, 1998

Dear Bubby and Zaidy,

I'm learning about aleph in gan.

I know some Hebrew words. Like I know "bayit," and I also know "eich korim lach?" That means: what's your name? And I also know "geshem," and I also know "at rotzah lesachek?" That means: do you want to play?

Let me tell you about my gan - what order it goes in.

First, we play a little bit. Then, we daven. Then, Morah talks. [Ed. note - “Morah” literally means “teacher,” but in Israel, the gannenet is never referred to as “Morah.”] Then, sometimes, we eat lunch first, and sometimes, also we first play a game.

Then, we go back to reekooz without our chair. “Reekooz” means circle time. Then after we do reekooz, we go to eat lunch. [Ed. note – Actually, they ate “aruchat esser” – literally, the “ten o’clock meal” – not lunch.]

Then after, all the boys go outside to play in the sandbox. The girls stay inside and play with the dolls.

Then when all the boys come in, then we go to do our projects. How projects is called is “yetzeerah,” and I also know that already.

After, if it takes too long, we go to get our knapsacks. What knapsacks are called is “teek,” and I also know that already. Then we go to sit on our chairs in reekooz.

Then after we sit down, we sing songs and then we go home. First we learn a little before we sing songs. After we sing songs, we go home.

I have to go to sleep now. Good night.

Love, [CENSORED]

Have a great week!

Mazal tov: Bar mitzvah edition

The entire Our Shiputzim staff extends

a very warm mazal tov to

commenter and guest blogger

Miriam and her dear family

on yesterday’s beautiful bar mitzvah celebration

at the Kotel.

The bar mitzvah boy did a wonderful job, and we look forward to the rest of the festivities on Shabbat IY”H.

Mazal tov also to all the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Guest Post: Rak Smachot

B”H, this time of year – coming, as it does, between Sefirat HaOmer and the Three Weeks and coinciding with the last month of school – tends to be full of smachot (festive occasions), ken yirbu (may they only increase).

Our Shiputzim commenter (and real life friend) Malke graciously agreed to share some thoughts on the subject:

~~~~~

Israeli Smachot

A Guest Post by Malke

Now that I find myself in that in-between stage: after bar/bat mitzvahs and before weddings (b'ezrat Hashem), my simcha-making lull allows me to reflect on the whole topic of making a simcha in Israel. Quite different from the Old Country.

Let's address each in turn:

Brit: I still have not figured out why the American standard of making a brit first thing in the morning, according to the principle of "zrizim makdimim l'mitzvah"- or in other words, “do the mitzvah at the earliest opportunity you can” - does not hold true, for the most part, in Israel. Here the reigning principle seems to be "b'rov am hadrat melech"- or in other words, “the more the merrier” - and the brit takes place later in the day. It's true that it does spare one from having to get up at the crack of dawn, but it also means missing half a day's work to attend a 2 PM brit.

Bar/bat mitzvah: On the whole, much more toned down than in America. I recall a friend in America telling me she was having trouble coming up with a "theme" for her son's bar mitzvah. Here, luckily, the theme does tend much more towards "kabbalat ol mitzvot." I realize I am generalizing, and I'm sure things vary by community. But when the same friend told me a girl in her daughter's class was taking the entire class of 23 to Disney World for her bat mitzvah, I must admit I wondered if something wasn't getting lost here…

Here in Israel, the major question seems to be whether to have the almost mandatory matzeget (PowerPoint presentation) or not. I am personally not a big fan, figuring no one really wants to see cute baby pictures of my children other than me, their father and their grandparents. But YMMV.

Graduations: Not technically a simcha, perhaps, but still worth mentioning because… HA HA HA HA. Nothing like what I remember. When my oldest niece graduated high school, my father wanted to fly in from America, envisioning caps and gowns, pomp and circumstance, cantatas, valedictorians. My sister quickly dissuaded him from wasting his well-earned money. Maybe there are schools here who do something more akin to what we had in the US, but my children certainly don't attend them.

Wedding: I am still searching for that happy medium between the over-the-top formality of some American weddings and the complete chaos of some Israeli ones. The more informal atmosphere of Israeli weddings definitely adds to the joyous atmosphere. However, I have been to too many chuppot where you can barely hear the proceedings, because the guests are all milling around and talking… That seems to me to lessen what is, after all, a very holy and solemn occasion.

This is, of course, just the tip of the iceberg, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter. In addition, I have only referred to affairs in the circles in which I travel, which naturally does not cover all segments of society.

Which brings me to one final issue: work affairs. I find that at my workplace EVERYONE gets invited to EVERYTHING. Now apart from those people for whom their work friends constitute their entire social circle, I am assuming that, like me, most of the inviters don't really want to fill up their simcha with work colleagues, and almost certainly most of said colleagues don't want to come. And yet this dance continues…

~~~~~

Thank you, Malke, for a great post!

!שנדע רק שמחות

“Somebody has been sitting in MY seat…”

Nothing says “oleh” – new or otherwise - like arriving at a simchah at the wrong time.

Indeed, we made aliyah about ten and a half years ago, and we still have no idea when to show up.

For instance, last night we went to a bar mitzvah. It was called for 7:30, and we got there at around 8:30. After taking one look at the guests milling about aimlessly in the half-empty room, even YZG conceded that we should’ve come later.

Nevertheless, there were two distinct advantages to our “early” arrival:

1. Parking wasn’t an issue.
2. Neither was seating.

As some of you are aware, smachot without assigned seating are a pet peeve of mine.

Admittedly, the situation has definitely improved with time. 25-30 years ago, asking people to respond to an invitation was considered to be tacky and distastefully American. Matters have since evolved, and most (but not all) invitations seem to include an RSVP.

Seating, however, is another story.

Many affairs have no assigned seating at all – it’s first come; first serve. Others make a half-hearted attempt at seating. In other words, the hosts make up blocs of tables – rather than individual tables. For example, all the guests from the neighborhood might be seated at tables 15-22 (or something like that).

However, both approaches are awkward and uncomfortable. Guests are inevitably forced to scrounge around for a spot, and often, latecomers end up with no seat at all.

That’s why YZG and I always opt for arranging the seating before our smachot.

And the truth is that more and more hosts are going this route as well.

But in the meantime, a guest’s only recourse is to show up extra early – i.e., about an hour after the official starting time…

Heblish: Multi-dialectal edition

Back in my initial Heblish post, I stated that the beauty of Heblish is that there are so many different dialects. In fact, I noted, every Anglo-Israeli household has its own version.

Yet at YAT’s bar mitzvah, I made a surprising and fascinating observation: Speakers of different dialects have no problem conversing with each other! Since the Our Shiputzim blog doesn’t have a linguist on staff (due to budgetary constraints and all), I can’t explain this phenomenon. However, here’s an example, which was used by one of the Shiputzim family’s cousins:

Lefee the high: Hebrew source - לפי גובה. English definition - By height. Sample usage - “Let’s all line up lefee the high.”

The speaker was addressing a group of kids from different families, but they all understood exactly what she meant. Within a few seconds, they had arranged themselves in size order.

And now, we turn to some phrases which are popular here in TRLEOOB (i.e., the real life equivalent of our blog, for those of you who are just tuning in):

Mixing up: Hebrew source – מבלבל. English definition –Confusing. Sample usage - “I can’t figure out how to put this thing together. The instructions are very mixing up.”

To pick: Hebrew source - להצביע or לבחור. English definition - To vote for. Sample usage - “Who are you going to pick in the elections?”

Just stam saying: Hebrew source - סתם אומר\ת. English definition – Just making it up. Sample usage - “That’s not at all how it happened! He’s just stam saying!”

Learn for a test: Hebrew source - ללמוד למבחן. English definition - Study for a test. Sample usage - “I finished learning for my test. Now I can go out to play.”

Right it’s: Hebrew source – …נכון ש. English definition – Isn’t it true that. Sample usage - “Right it’s my turn now, because she went first last time?”

______________________

Previous editions are available here: Heblish I, Heblish II, and Heblish III.

The joys of politics-free blogging

Fortunately, this is a politics-free blog.

Why is that fortunate?

Because otherwise, I’d have to rage against the ridiculous travesty known as the “cease fire”. (As many others have said, “we cease; they fire”…)

But, since I don’t do politics, I can keep my opinions to myself and avoid disagreeable and depressing topics.

Instead, I can talk about pleasant things, like:

YAT’s bar mitzvah – B”H we had a wonderful time. The kids enjoyed playing with their cousins; YAT did a great job; and YAT’s parents went out of their way to ensure their guests’ comfort. And the best part is that I not only came up with some more material for my next Heblish post, but I began negotiations for an upcoming guest post from a very unexpected source. (Watch this space for further details.)

A blogging honor – Thank you to my friend Leora for giving me a very special award. It’s called the Prémio Dardos Award, and according to the description, “The Prémio Dardos is given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing. These stamps were created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web”. I’m truly honored to have received this blogging nod from Leora, whose blog represents all the award’s underlying ideas.

Have a good week!

Today you are a… YAT

As some of you are aware, YAT – known here on Our Shiputzim for his edifying and elucidating comments – is IY”H celebrating his bar mitzvah this weekend.

In honor of the occasion, I was asked by YAT’s mother – an occasional Our Shiputzim commenter herself – to prepare a cucumber salad for Shabbat.

Here’s YZG’s sister’s recipe - with a few slight modifications which reflect the Shiputzim family’s tastes:

Lemon-Cucumber Salad

Ingredients

• 8-10 cucumbers, sliced thin in the food processor
• 1 onion, sliced thin in the food processor
• 2-3 scallions, very coarsely chopped
• 1/2 – 2/3 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup lemon juice
• 1 cup water
• Parsley, chopped
• 1/2 tsp salt

Directions

Place the vegetables in a bowl. Prepare the dressing, and pour over the vegetables. Mix, and chill for several hours before serving.

The entire Our Shiputzim staff wishes to extend a very warm mazal tov to YAT and his parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins!

Timeout for trivialities

Someone from our neighborhood launched a new project, pairing families from our community with families from Ashkelon. We’re waiting to receive the specifics of our “adopted family”. However, the organizers did tell us that the idea is to maintain daily contact – phone calls, emails, visits – and to let the Ashkelonites know that we care.

In the meantime, with your permission, I feel like I must take a break from serious war-related posts. But first, a pro forma warning:

WARNING: This is an inane post filled with trivial musings. Readers will walk away neither moved nor inspired. If this bothers you, feel free to click away.

Last week, YZG, MAG and I attended a bar mitzvah. Here are several related blogbits:

0 for 2 If you’re looking for someone who can foresee the future, don’t come to us. On the way to the bar mitzvah, YZG and I assumed that there wouldn’t be seating cards. But as it turned out, we were wrong. And then, YZG asked me if I thought there would be fireworks. (After all, in certain circles, having the bar mitzvah boy march out accompanied by fireworks is quite de rigueur.) I thought the room seemed relatively small, and so I told YZG that I believed that they would somehow make do without. But once again, I misjudged our hosts. You will no doubt be glad to learn that there were four large floor-to-ceiling sparklers…

No, pie are round; CORNBREAD are square As anyone who has been to an Israeli catered affair any time over the past five years knows, square plates are apparently all the rage. However, as everyone also knows, square plates* are quite annoying. They may be aesthetically pleasing – although that point is highly debatable – but they’re far from functional. And so, I beseech all the plate manufacturers who happen to be Our Shiputzim readers: Please go back to making round plates, as nature intended. Thank you.

From the “my husband is so cool” department On the way home, we gave rides (i.e. trempim, for the Hebraically-oriented among you) to two guys from our neighborhood. A few minutes into the ride, one of them noticed that YZG – who had not consulted a map – was leaving the city where the bar mitzvah was held via a back exit. “I was born here,” the man exclaimed, obviously very impressed by YZG’s navigational skills, “and it never would’ve occurred to me to use this route. I would’ve gone all the way around, but this way saved so much time!” (P.S. Special thanks to our so-called “anonymous” Swedish-speaking commenter for suggesting that specific route to YZG a few days earlier…)

We now return you back to your regularly scheduled serious wartime blog.

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* Yes, I admit that the caterer used square plates on Motza”Sh of MAG’s bar mitzvah – as you can see here - but at least we had round plates over Shabbat, for the meals I did myself.

One week later

Shavua tov.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been a week since the bar mitzvah. Of course, we’re still eating our way through the leftovers, and MAG is busy enjoying every minute of thank-you-note writing </sarcasm>. But overall, life is more or less back to normal.

For those of you who were unable to join us in person, here is a look at the Friday night meal (i.e. the seudat leil Shabbat, for the Hebraically-oriented among you).

As some of you know, we followed the model we had used for the CTO’s bar mitzvah (which was based on reader MB’s bar mitzvah model) – namely, I did the Friday night meal (with lots of help from various family members) as well as seudah shlishit, and we had Shabbat lunch and the melave malka catered.

Friday night menu

• Appetizer: Potato burekas with mushroom sauce
• Main course: Brisket; schnitzel; potato kugel; mushroom rice; green beans with almonds; lettuce salad; copper carrot salad
• Dessert: Assorted cakes and cookies; taiglach; jelly beans; tea

Recipes available upon request.

Here’s how the room looked set up for Friday night. (These pictures were taken before the flowers were added.)

Have a good week from all of us here at Our Shiputzim!