Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Top 10: On the Road to the Bar Mitzvah

The Our Shiputzim Editorial Board proudly presents:

The Top Ten Signs That You May Be Making a Bar Mitzvah in the Next Couple of Weeks IY”H

10) The entire family is able to lain a certain parsha by heart.

9) Whenever anyone opens their mouth to say anything, you immediately caution, “slow, loud, and clear.”

8) The baking team (aka the tza’ir bakers, in the vernacular) is hard at work.

7) Supper is now a thing of the past, because the dining room table has long since disappeared under an avalanche of invitations and envelopes.

6) You’ve been contacting obscure relatives, in order to ascertain: (a) that they still exist, and if so, (b) their current mailing address.

5) There’s no more room in your freezer.

4) You’ve compiled so many lists that you’ve been working off a list of lists. In fact, you’re seriously considering migrating to a database of lists.

3) If nonstop shopping was an Olympic sport, you’d be well on your way to a gold medal. (Reason #3221 for making aliyah: You don’t have to buy your son a suit or even a tie for his bar mitzvah…)

2) You find yourself trapped deep inside the dreaded Cycle of Invitations. {cue: wild, maniacal laughter}

1) Four words: Less time for blogging…



  1. Mazal tov in advance! I don't envy you. The next bar-mitzvah I plan to help plan will be for a grandson. I'm happy to plan a less stressful bat mitzvah for my daughter.

  2. How exciting - mazal tov! Don't worry, it's almost over :)

  3. Leora - BA"H, it definitely helps that we've done this more than once before.

    Laura - Thank you!

    Toby - We actually still have a few more weeks to go IY"H! :-)

  4. Consider it practice for more simchas in the future.

  5. Ariella - Ken yirbu!

    Baila - Thanks, and shavua tov!

  6. good luck! mazal tov in advance. maybe ask for volunteer guest posters? a contest?ask your readers to tell their best stories about language misunderstandings or something?

  7. Mazal Tov,

    Middle of winter is challenging, as you have to be ready so early.

  8. Ilana-Davita - Thank you!

    Faith/Emuna - Good ideas! (BTW, I was hoping to see you at the upcoming wedding IY"H, but since it's the night before the bar mitzvah, I'm not sure that we're going to be able to make it.)

    Keren - Very true. But the flip side is that Shabbat ends early, and so there's plenty of time to have a melaveh malkah.


Feel free to leave a comment.