Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Heblish: Support group edition

{cue: TV announcer voice}

Are you feeling down?

Does it bother you that your Israeli kids don’t speak proper English?

Are you wondering where all that money you spent on their Dovrei Anglit (lit. “English speakers”) classes went?

Well, there IS a solution!

You can register TODAY for the popular “Parents of Heblish-Speakers Support Group”!

That’s right!

For an unbelievably low monthly membership fee, you’ll get to meet thousands of Anglo parents – just. like. you.

Their heartwarming stories will, uh, warm your heart, and if you act now, we’ll throw in a copy of the critically-acclaimed Official Our Shiputzim Heblish-English Dictionary - AT NO EXTRA CHARGE!

This handy reference work includes a significant number of reader submissions, including:

{cue: music, as the dictionary entries roll down the screen}

From Mother in Israel:

  • Not something: Hebrew source לא משהו. English definition – Not great; nothing special. Sample usage – “It smells not something.”
  • To have a telephone: Hebrew source טלפון X-יש ל. English definition – To have a phone call. Sample usage – “Please tell her to pick up. She has a telephone.”

From Malke:

  • Reach to: Hebrew source – …להגיע ל. English definition – Reach. Sample usage – “You have reached to Itzik’s phone. Please leave a message after the beep.”
  • Invite: Hebrew source להזמין. English definition – Order; reserve. Sample usage – “Last week, we invited a pizza for supper.”

From Sarah:

  • To [action]? Hebrew source ?[ל[עשות משהו. English definition – Should/could/shall I [do something]? Sample usage – “Do you want to write that down? To give you a pencil?

From Miriyummy:

  • Fell [objective pronoun]: Hebrew source נפל לו. English definition – Dropped. Sample usage – “I tripped, and the box I was carrying fell me.”

{cue: TV announcer voice}

So what are you waiting for?

Call now. Our operators are standing by. This incredible offer* ends soon…

* Void where prohibited. Employees, relatives and readers of Our Shiputzim and its affiliates, subsidiaries, and blogroll links are not eligible.


Thanks, everybody, and please keep those Heblishisms coming (in the comment section or by email to OurShiputzim at gmail dot com)!


Previous Heblish editions are available here: Heblish I, Heblish II, Heblish III, Heblish IV, Heblish V, Heblish VI, Heblish VII, Heblish VIII, Heblish IX, Heblish X, Heblish XI, and Heblish XII.


  1. Not eligible!?! What do you mean not eligible?!?

  2. Malke - [shrugs] What can I tell you? I don't make up the rules... ;-)

  3. I fully support this meritorious dictionary project on the condition that you create a comprehensive REVERSE index for us prospective olim to "de-Anglicize" our Hebrew so as not to embarrass our kids (or future grandkids)...!!!

  4. Jennifer - Wait! Are you suggesting that embarrassing one's kids is a BAD thing??

  5. Hahaha... on the plus side, I guess I'll learn proper Hebrew grammar from my (as yet entirely hypothetical) kids!

  6. Maya - I often ask the kids to proofread when I have to write something in Hebrew... :-)

  7. I had missed this! This is funny.

  8. Thanks, I-D and MiI! Shabbat Shalom to both of you!

  9. you guys have no idea how fortunate you are to have Heblish speaking kids. My kids speak to me only in Hebrew. I dream of Heblish-speaking children!

  10. Chana - Our older kids were born in the States, and I think that's why all the kids (including the sabras) speak English (or Heblish-tinged English, to be precise) to us and even among themselves.


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