And the nominees are…

Okay. I did it.

I finally went ahead and registered for the convention.

However, unless something changes, I’m only going to be attending online. (Unfortunately, this means that I won’t be able to meet any of my blogging friends – which is the main reason I wanted to go in person. But at this point, it doesn’t look like it’s a realistic option for me.)

Anyway, now that I’m registered, I get to nominate a blogger or two for the NBN flight.

Here, then, are my picks:

1) Baila - Why? Because I figured, hey, why not give proteksiah to a fellow American olah. (No offense intended to those who are neither American nor olim…)

2) Leora and Raizy – For two reasons:

1. Altruistic For-the-Good-of-the-Entire-Blogosphere Reason: Because Leora is sure to take lovely pictures, and Raizy is sure to have an amusing take on everything.
2. Selfish Reason: Because I would love to meet both of them in person.

So there you have it.

Good luck to all the contenders, and see you (online anyway) at the convention…

Around the J-Blogosphere

Several items:

1) The latest Kosher Cooking Carnival is available here. Special thanks to Chana Rubin for including my Cinnamon Swirl Cookies post.

2) The newest edition of Haveil Havalim is available here. Special thanks to West Bank Mama for including the Our Shiputzim Guide to Ulpanistiyot. (FYI: an ulpanistit is a teenaged girl who attends an ulpanah – a national-religious girls’ high school.)

3) Blogging may be a bit light this week, as I’m B”H kind of swamped at work. In the meantime, I posted some pictures of our summer vacation on Facebook. Check them out. (Feel free to befriend me if you haven’t yet done so!)

4) I still haven’t made a final decision on the J-Blogging Convention. (But if I don’t get back to work – see #3 above – it might become a moot point…) Watch this space for further updates.

Have a great week!

To go or not to go…

As many of you are aware, the Second Annual J-Bloggers Convention is rapidly approaching.

Last year, although I was fairly new to the whole blogging scene, I was intrigued by the idea. However, we had to be somewhere else that same day, and so I didn’t have to make a decision either way.

Which brings me to this year.

I can think of several good reasons to go… but also plenty of reasons not to go.

Yet, rather than turn this into an angst-filled, navel-gazing post – which, as long-term readers know, is definitely not my style – I’ll open this up to you.

What do you think I should do?

In other words (if you’ll excuse my NASA-speak), go/no-go?

As always, please show your work…

Will the real ulpanistit please stand up?

The Our Shiputzim management proudly presents today’s deep philosophical question:

Is attending an ulpanah sufficient cause to be referred to as an ulpanistit?

First, some background for the uninitiated: An ulpanah is a national-religious girls’ high school. It’s basically the girls’ equivalent of a yeshiva high school.

Thus, technically, any girl who attends an ulpanah is known as an ulpanistit.

But one senses that there must be a better way to separate the men from the boys, ahem, that is, the dyed-in-the-wool ulpanistiyot from the girls-whose-schools-just-happen-to-be-ulpanot.

Of course, in the olden days, there were several ways of determining ulpanistit-hood. To wit:

• A decade or so ago, one could recognize the ulpanistiyot by their long skirts, which literally swept the ground as they walked. (Their mothers never had to wash the floor…) But these days, the ulpanistiyot’s skirts are just as short as those worn by their Bais Yaakov counterparts…
• And in pre-historic times (we’re talking circa 2007-2008), the ulpanistiyot were distinguished by their cropped shirts. (A popular joke at the time - Question: How many ulpanistiyot does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Five. One to change the bulb, and four to hold her shirt down…) But now, longer tops are back in style.
• Also, the layered look, which once was the exclusive domain of ulpanistiyot everywhere, has since crossed cultural and even geographical borders. Indeed, rare is the Orthodox girl – of any stripe, both here in Israel and around the globe – who doesn’t sport the now ubiquitous long sleeve white shell under a short sleeve top.

Thus, physical appearance can no longer be used to identify an ulpanistit.

Hence, I would argue that the sole remaining indicator is the Official Ulpanistit Hug^TM.

Please note that in terms of form and style, this hug is pretty much your basic, run-of-the-mill embrace.

However, what sets the Official Ulpanistit Hug^TM apart from all the other hugs out there on the market is its frequency.

You see, every. single. time. a true ulpanistit bumps into her friends, she hugs them – as long as more than ten minutes have elapsed since their previous meeting.

And, so, dear readers, the next time someone challenges you to an exciting game of “Spot the Ulpanistit”, mark my words and watch for the Official Ulpanistit Hug^TM.

It’s the key to wrapping your arms around victory…

HH #231

The latest edition of Haveil Havalim is available here.

Special thanks to Ben-Yehudah for including my most recent excerpt from the Official Our Shiputzim Heblish-English Dictionary.

Mazal tov: Matmid edition

Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for parental bragging. Proceed at your own risk.

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The Our Shiputzim management would like to extend an exceedingly warm and heartfelt

מזל טוב

to our very own dear ESG

on his recent siyum on the entire Chamishah Chumshei Torah (the Five Books of the Torah)!

As some of you know, in addition to his long day in school, ESG goes to an intensive and completely voluntary 5-days-a-week afternoon Talmud Torah.

Going to this optional Talmud Torah was (and is) ESG’s own choice and initiative, and BA”H, he has earned a name for himself as quite the matmid (loosely, diligent and dedicated Torah scholar). (Did I not warn you that there would be boasting? :-))

The boys learn Chumash and Mishnah without skipping anything. In the Mishnah class, they finished the entire Seder Zera’im last year* and are currently approaching the end of Seder Mo’ed. Meanwhile, they just finished all Five Books of the Torah in their Chumash class.

Brief sociological digression: When YZG and I were growing up in the States, afterschool Talmud Torahs used to refer to something that public school kids attended – usually in a Conservative temple. But here in Israel, even kids like ESG, who attend excellent dual curriculum Torani schools during the day, may choose to go to an afterschool Talmud Torah in order to get in a few more hours of extra Torah learning.  </digression>

Anyway, this year’s siyum began with a tour of Gush Etzion and ended with a festive meal in Yeshivat Har Etzion in Alon Shvut, together with Rav Lichtenstein.

Each boy got to shake Rav Lichtenstein’s hand before receiving a copy of a sefer called “Iturei Halachah: Ahavat Chessed” and also a personalized certificate:

Mazal tov also to ESG’s very proud parents, grandparents, and siblings.

!חודש טוב ושבת שלום ומבורך

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*You can read about last year’s siyum in Rav Neventzal’s house in the Old City here.

Heblish: Sefer HaChinuch Edition

If you’ve spent a recent Shabbat here in TRLEOOB*, you’re aware that about half a year ago, we adopted the custom of learning one mitzvah from the Sefer HaChinuch at each of the first two Shabbat meals.

(BTW, if we haven’t yet had the pleasure of your company, please be sure to contact the Our Shiputzim reservations department to arrange a convenient Shabbat. Our operators are standing by...)

Anyway, each time, a different Shiputzim child takes a turn at reading and then translating the text into English.

The reason I mention this practice is that last Shabbat, we reached Mitzvah #52 – שלא לאכול בשר שור הנסקל – the prohibition against eating the meat of a ox that was “niskal”.

Niskal, I should note, means that the animal received s’kilah.

What is s’kilah, you ask?

Well, here’s how a certain Shiputzim child chose to translate this term:

Rocking: Hebrew source – סקילה. English definition – Stoning. Sample usage - “You can’t eat the meat of an ox that was rocked.”

And while we’re at it, here are some more excerpts from the Official Our Shiputzim Heblish-English Dictionary: 

I don’t care to…: Hebrew source – …לא אכפת לי ל. English definition – I don’t mind [doing…]. Sample usage - “I don’t care to clear the table today, but only if he clears it tomorrow.”

To move a house: Hebrew source – לעבור דירה. English definition – To move. Sample usage - “She’s moving a house, and so she won’t be in my class anymore.”

As long time readers are aware, most of these Heblish definitions are based on things the Shiputzim children like to say.

But apparently, I’m not above letting some unintentional Heblish creep into my own speech. In fact, I’ve even used it while blogging:

Snappling:  Hebrew source – סנפלינג. English definition –Rappelling. Sample usage – Check out this post for my inadvertent (and admittedly amusing) lapse. (Thanks to commenter Michael Kopinsky for the much-appreciated correction.)

Oh, well. {shrugs} You know what they say: To err is human, but it takes a blogger to mess up in front of readers around the world…**

Previous Heblish editions are available here: Heblish I, Heblish II, Heblish III, Heblish IV, Heblish V, and Heblish VI.

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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

**Yes, I DID just make this up. Why do you ask? ;-)

HH and Blogging 300

The latest Haveil Havalim is available here. Special thanks to Mottel for including my translation software post.

And in somewhat related news, it turns out that last week’s inaugural edition of Fish Tank Friday was my 300^th post.

Which naturally begs the question - as my Heblish-speaking kids would say - “what’s the kesher?” Is there some deep and profound significance to this random bit of trivia? Does it serve to teach us an important lesson?

Moreover, what are we to make of the fact that the combined gematriah of אוקיינוס (ocean), ים (sea), and דג (fish) is 300?

Perhaps it’s a sign or omen – a la the Rosh Hashanah simanim – for my posts to multiply like fish?

Maybe it’s an indication that this blog is coming along swimmingly?

I have no idea.

But feel free to think of your own connections.

And remember, the more farfetched and convoluted the better…