Not quite back to blogging

Hello, Our Shiputzim fans!

I have lots to write about, but for now, I’ll have to suffice with two brief blogbits:

1) B”H, the bar mitzvah was wonderful, and we all had a great time. MAG did an incredible job (BA”H) with his laining and also with the siyum he made on Masechet Taanit. (Not that I’m biased or anything…) Also, thank you to everyone who helped in so many different ways.

2) If you’ve been wondering (i.e. you’ve been in metach) about apple green, please check out the napkins in the following picture from the melave malka:

Kol hakavod to Ilana Davita who correctly guessed that the color would resemble a Granny Smith apple. Well done!

I’ll leave you to decide whether or not this color is the green equivalent of Nechama Leibowitz’s “Iyunim B’Sefer Breishit”.

Hopefully, more bar mitzvah posts to come…

Chatting with ENG: Education edition

You’ll all be glad to hear that in spite of the pre-bar mitzvah tumult here in TRLEOOB, ENG is not neglecting her studies. The following conversation took place this morning as ENG was getting was ready for gan:

ENG: Imma?

Me: Yes?

ENG: Now we’re learning about Chanukah in gan, but before that we learned about water.

Me: Hmm.

ENG: It gets used up.

Me: What?

ENG: The water. It gets used up.

Me: I see.

ENG: And before we learned about water, we learned about something else.

Me: Oh?

ENG: But I don’t know what it’s called…

…And we are “GO” for new clothes

I realize that some of you were concerned that our resident ulpanistit* hadn’t yet found any new clothes for the fast-approaching bar mitzvah. (If you don’t have your own resident ulpanistit or an equivalent thereof, you probably don’t understand what’s so difficult about finding clothes. However, you’ll have to trust me on this one.)

So, I decided to take a quick break from cooking, cleaning, shopping, arranging, organizing etc. to bring you the good news. B"H, all the female members of the Shiputzim family now have new outfits, and the sartorial crisis has been averted.

Thank you to our resident ulpanistit’s Savta for saving the day!

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* An ulpanistit is one who attends an ulpanah (a girls’ religious high school) – i.e. a teenage girl בלעז.

In lieu of original content

While the entire staff is off getting ready for the bar mitzvah IY”H, here are two classic posts for your blog-reading pleasure:

1) A journey to the center of the duct – Yes, this is a renovations post. But it includes some very cool pictures of the inside of our A/C duct. (And no, they aren’t as boring as they sound…)

2) And that’s my other brother Darrell – Try your hand at proving ENG’s Theory of the Gilads…

See you soon.

HH 194

The next edition of Havel Havelim can be found both here and here.

Thank you to Batya for including my maternity ward post.

They did the ooltra…

Shavua tov!

Yes, I’m still here. It’s just that the bar mitzvah is this coming Shabbat IY”H, and so things are understandably busy here in TRLEOOB.

And on a related note, I would like to take this opportunity to thank my real-life friend and commenter MB and her family for hosting us for the now-traditional Meal on the Shabbat Before the Simcha (or, in Our Shiputzim-speak, the MOTSBTS). May our families continue to share many, many future smachot!

As some of you know, the Shiputzim children are members of Ariel* – rather than Bnei Akiva. (Ariel uses the same names as Bnei Akiva does – hence, last week’s HaGevurah post.)

Anyway, this Shabbat was Shabbat Irgun for the girls. (This coming Shabbat – yes, the Shabbat of the bar mitzvah! – will IY”H be the boys’ Shabbat Irgun.)

The reason I mention this is to reassure our loyal readers that yes, there was an ooltra. And the truth is that – all kidding aside – the dances were, as always, quite beautiful.

In fact, the girls introduced a new twist to the ooltra dance. Usually, such a dance is done to fast, up-beat music. However, this time, they did something completely different.

This shevet’s (age group) theme was “Captives and MIAs”. After showing a short slide show about the Israeli MIAs, the girls did a slow ooltra to Boaz Sharabi’s haunting “K’she’tavo”, a song about Ron Arad. The entire audience agreed that dancing in the dark was a moving and fitting tribute to the MIAs.

And in conclusion, mazal tov to our resident HaGevurah member on the new name. (Admit it – the name is starting to grow on you, isn’t it? )

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* That is – some of the Shiputzim children are Ariel members. Others are adherents of what is euphemistically known as “Iyov” (aleph,yud,vav,vet – an acronym for אשרי יושבי ביתך – literally, “Praiseworthy are those who dwell in Your House”) – i.e. they prefer to stay home.

Return to 34th and Lex

Those of you who recognize the address in the title will be surprised to learn that this post is actually subtitled: “Life on an Israeli Maternity Ward”.

Let me explain. No, there is too much, let me sum up…

First, two caveats:

Caveat #1: My American experiences obviously pre-date our aliyah, and even my Israeli experiences aren’t very recent. (After all, BA”H, our “baby” isn’t exactly a baby anymore…) However, I can’t imagine that there have been any significant changes in the interim.

Caveat #2: This post is not about giving birth; it’s only about the postpartum period. However, I should note that the medical care I received in both countries was excellent and equally advanced.

Basically, two main issues distinguish Israeli maternity wards from their American counterparts:

1) Ambulation: In the States, the objective seems to be to let the new mother get some much needed rest. In contrast, here in Israel, the message is: You’re not sick; get out of bed. Obviously, if chas v’shalom anything is wrong, the mothers stay in bed. But, assuming that everything is fine, the mothers are encouraged to get up and walk around. For instance, as long as the mother is up to it, she goes to get her baby from the nursery (rather than waiting for the nurse to bring the baby to her). Also, in some (most?) Israeli hospitals, the new mothers go to a small private dining room to eat their meals. Only mothers who are non-ambulatory (e.g. after a C-section or within the first six hours after giving birth, etc.) receive their meals in bed.

2) Socialization: Unlike in America, Israeli maternity wards serve as postpartum support groups. Except for at night and – perhaps – during the traditional 2-4 PM rest hour, the curtains separating the beds remain open. By the time I left the hospital after each birth, I knew all kinds of personal things about my roommates. In contrast, in America, I barely knew my roommates’ names!

The net result was that when each of my “sabras” were born, I felt like I was back in Stern College (hence the title!) – with two notable differences:

• Instead of staying up late studying and comparing dating stories, my roommates and I stayed up late nursing and comparing birthing stories.
• Instead of saying things like, “Oh? Are you going to eat? Then please save me a seat in the caf.,” we said things like, “Oh? Are you going to eat? Then please save me a seat in the chadar ochel (dining room).”

Generation gap

The Our Shiputzim R&D department is pleased to announce the beta release of a complex algorithm which can determine a reader’s age group.

Please feel free to try it. You’re likely to find it surprisingly accurate. All you need to do is answer a single question:

When you heard that “HaGevurah” – הגבורה - (fortitude, heroism) is the new shevet's name, your immediate reaction most closely resembled:

[a] “HaGevurah sounds like a very nice name. What’s not to like about it? After all, gevurah is the midah (trait) of Yitzchak Avinu. I’m sure that the kids in the new shevet are very pleased with their new name.”

[b] “I’m so glad that we didn’t get that name…”

[c] “Oof! Why were we stuck with this name?! Why couldn’t they have given us a normal name?!”

[d] “I’m glad that they got rid of that name this year…”

If you picked [a], you are over the age of 30.

If you picked [b], you are between the ages of 16-29.

If you picked [c], you are in 9th grade.

If you picked [d], you are in 8th grade or below.