Only in Israel: Hefker announcement

Helloooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

We recently posted the following announcement to our local email list:

לידיעת הציבור
בחצר שמאחורי ביתינו יש
עץ קלמנטינה
עץ פומלה
ועץ לימון

כל הפירות הפקר

Translation: “FYI - In our backyard, we have a clementine tree, a pomelo tree, and a lemon tree. All of the fruit is hefker (i.e. shmitah produce and therefore considered to be ownerless).”

In other words, any of our readers who happen to be here in TRLEOOB (the real life equivalent of our blog) may pick some fruit – as long as it’s handled according to the relevant shmitah laws. (CYLOR for further details.)

Pretty cool, huh?

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NOTE: Not everyone agrees that it’s necessary to actively repudiate ownership of (להפקיר) the fruit. (See, for example, the article entitled “What Can We Learn From Shmitah?” on Page 2 of this newsletter.)

Aliyah memories: Walter Mitty edition

Helloooo, Our Shiputzim fans.

Back in this post, I listed some tips for dealing with Israeli bureaucracy. The first one was:

“Always bring all your documents with you – the more obscure and seemingly irrelevant the better.”

Actually, YZG (aka “Mr. S.”) was the one who suggested that we always follow this rule, and about half a year after our aliyah, he was more than vindicated.

On a trip to a certain office, YZG – as usual – lugged our big, fat file folder stuffed with various and sundry papers and documents. To YZG’s great joy, the clerk there demanded a number of rather odd papers, and so Walter Mitty-like, YZG got to pretend that he was Clint Eastwood.

Now, I wasn’t there, but based on YZG’s description, I assume that the scene played out as follows*:

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{YZG arrives in a certain governmental office, and after a brief wait, his turn arrives. He sits down in the chair in front of the Clerk’s desk.}

Clerk: {Doesn’t even look up} You’re going to need to come back.

YZG: {Startled} Huh? Why?

C: Because I need some papers which I’m sure you don’t have.

YZG: {Secretly very pleased but tries to act and sound grim and determined} Go ahead. Make. My. Day.

C: {Misses the reference and so doesn’t yet realize that YZG is not your typical bespectacled new oleh} Well, I need a list of your exits and entries to and from Israel.

YZG: {Yawns ostentatiously as he hands over the paper} Please. Don’t insult me.

C: {Raises an eyebrow, as a flicker of interest flashes across her face} Okay, then I need a certificate from the army that says that-

YZG: {Gives her the paper before she completes her sentence and somehow manages to avoid looking smug or self-satisfied} You mean this?

{The Clerk finally understands that she’s facing a worthy adversary, as the camera zooms in on the look of steely resolve in YZG’s eyes. That twangy, western music from that Clint Eastwood movie – what’s it called? – plays in the background. The climactic showdown is about to begin.}

C: {Measures her words carefully, because everything is riding on this} Please give me your parents’ US passport from thirty years ago…

{The Clerk thinks that she smells victory. After all, there’s absolutely no way that YZG could possibly have such a random document…. Or could he???}

YZG: {With quiet dignity} Here it is. {He hands her the passport.}

{Stunned, the Clerk quickly finishes processing YZG’s papers, and speechless, she watches as he heads off into the sunset, with the slightest hint of a well-deserved swagger in his step.}

{Cue: Final credits.}

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* Okay, fine. I admit that I may have taken some artistic liberties with the dialogue; and there probably wasn’t any mood–setting music (or any music at all, for that matter); and there’s a slight chance that the clerk was completely oblivious to all the drama. But I think you get the general idea. And in my defense, the clerk really did request those exact three documents – yes, including the 30 year old passport! – and YZG had them all!)

KCC #35

The next edition of the Kosher Cooking Carnival can be found here.

Thank you to Batya for including my potato soup recipe.

And on a related note, I’d like to take this opportunity to pass along the award I received from Leora to:

• Batya, who founded KCC and keeps it going and always has an interesting take on life’s happenings.
• Einshem, because it’s good to keep these things in the family.

(Special thanks to our CTO for showing me how to copy this logo.)

You know you’re getting older when…

…You’re invited to weddings as a friend of the parents rather than as a friend of the young couple.

Over the past year or two, YZG and I seem to have made that transition, which means that I now often find myself choosing to dance in what my friends and I jokingly refer to as “the old ladies’ circle” at weddings. After all, we’re guests of the bride or groom’s mother, and she’s most likely to be found in that, er, “more mature” circle.

However, there are times when I prefer to remain in the faster, regular circle.

And that’s when I feel really old.

You see, at many some weddings, there are groups of young girls who apparently believe that dancing together with “senior citizens” (read: anyone over age 25) is demeaning and degrading.

As soon as they discover that members of the older generation actually know the steps to the dance (gasp!), the young girls will either: (a) switch to an even more complex dance, or (b) break away and form a new circle.

But happily, not everyone is like that. For instance, during the second (and generally more intricate) dancing set at a recent wedding, I realized that I vaguely recognized a certain dance. As I stood at the side and tried to recall the precise steps, a young 20-something came over and started announcing the steps. (“Step, step, kick, back,” etc.)

Unfortunately, we were separated by the dance’s movements before I had a chance to thank her, and I didn’t see her afterwards.

So, Anonymous Dark Haired Girl – on the off chance that you read this blog – thank you!

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And on a related note, thank you also to Leora, who generously presented me with a very sweet award. (I’ll have to wait for our CTO – who also happens to be the Chief of Photography – to help me add the logo.) Leora’s blog, which is one of my favorites, is the place to go for her beautiful artwork and photographs – as well as thoughtful and sensitive posts on a wide range of topics. Check it out!

HH #188

The next edition of Haveil Havalim can be found here.

Special thanks to Benji for including my mobile succah post.

A lighter take on cholent

Shavua tov!

Now that the chagim have ended, we’re officially in cholent season. However, on Shabbatot when we have no company – and also during the summer, when it’s too hot for a “real” cholent – I occasionally make something we like to call alternatively: “White Meat and Dark Meat in the Crockpot*”; “Cholent with Gravy”; “Cholent Lite”; or even “Summer Cholent”. (We welcome suggestions for better names.)

The truth is, however, that it’s more of a stew than a cholent. It has neither beans nor barley, and I usually omit the regular potatoes as well. As a result, it’s nowhere near as heavy and comes with lots of gravy. (The kids like to dip challah into the gravy.)

Here, then, is the recipe:

Ingredients:

• 1-2 onions, chopped or cut into pieces
• 1 package basar adom (literally, “red meat” – refers to boneless dark turkey meat)
• 1 package boneless white chicken meat
• Water
• Ketchup
• Brown sugar
• 1-2 bay leaves
• Salt
• Onion soup mix
• Carrots – peeled and cut into chunks
• Sweet potatoes – peeled and cut into chunks
• (Optional) Regular potatoes – peeled and cut into chunks
• Paprika

Directions:

Put the onions on the bottom of the crockpot, and then place the turkey and chicken on top. Cover generously with water, and let cook on high for an hour or two. Add ketchup, brown sugar, bay leaves, salt and onion soup mix. Add carrots, sweet potatoes, and regular potatoes. Sprinkle paprika on top. Continue cooking on high. Turn crockpot to low just before Shabbat.

Enjoy!

*Hat tip: Leora, whose crockpot squash post inspired me to write this post.

Have a good week from the entire Our Shiputzim staff.

Picture, picture on the wall

Choref tov, Our Shiputzim fans!

Well, that’s it. After weeks of erev yom tov/yom tov/chol hamoed/erev Shabbat/Shabbat (repeat ad infinitum), today brought us back to real life.

[I suppose that in Our Shiputzim-speak that would be BTRLHITRLEOOB (back to real life here in the real life equivalent of our blog). And to our readers who asked if these acronyms are meant to be pronounced, I can only say: “Not exactly” – which may or may not be Heblish, as in לא בדיוק. That is, “not exactly” certainly sounds fine to me, but I have a strong suspicion that it isn’t really English. Please feel free to weigh in on this issue - or any other, of course - in the comment section.]

But I digress.

As YZG and I headed back to our respective jobs and in addition to slowly beginning to tackle the mountain of laundry, we all turned our sights on the numerous and assorted projects which had been scheduled for that nebulous period known colloquially as אחרי החגים (“after the holidays”).

Among other things, YZG drilled some holes in the wall for screw anchors (that’s דיבלים for the Hebraically-oriented among you) so that AMG could hang up some pictures in her room.

Here are two pictures that she painted herself:

And that’s about it for now.

Have a good night from the entire Our Shiputzim staff.

“I’ll have that succah to go…”

Helloooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

Several years ago, it occurred to YZG [aka “Mr. S.”] that our car’s sunroof would make a perfect mobile succah, and then last year, he decided that the time had come*.

Admittedly, there is less of a need for such a thing here in Israel, where most tourist sites have succot. It’s very rare to find oneself succah-less.

But – by his own admission – YZG wasn’t motivated by necessity. He was driven [no pun intended] by the “cool” factor.

And so, he set to work. He took lots of measurements [picture the scene in Harry Potter I where Harry is being measured for his new wand] and could occasionally be heard muttering obscure phrases like “dofen akumah” and “tfachim”. Finally, after consulting with various parties (that’s gormim – literally “factors” – for the Hebraically-oriented among you) and purchasing a new schach mat, YZG announced that our succah was ready for use.

Here, then, is our succah-on-wheels:

Of course, only two people can sit in the succah at a time, but it’s the thought that counts…

(Interior views of our real stationary succah can be found in this post.)

And on that note, we wish you a חג שמח from the entire Our Shiputzim staff.

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* Note: Those of our readers who’ve been experiencing withdrawal symptoms due to the lack of renovation-related posts will be relieved to hear that this post - like the popular Mishkan post – definitely pertains to construction.