The carpenter chronicles

Hellooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

Yesterday, one of our favorite commenters asked:

“What about the carpenter did he come back…”

Funny you should ask, YAT, because you see, the carpenter actually came for a couple of hours on Sunday. And yes, as our long-time readers may have guessed, when he was leaving, he claimed that he was coming “tomorrow”. Understandably, we took that to mean that we would be seeing him some time next week or so.

Thus, you can imagine our surprise when he came for another few hours this evening.

But lest you think that he was turning over a new leaf, let me reassure you that on his way out, he once again announced that he would be back… all together now… “tomorrow”!

Feel free to leave a comment with your bet as to the date of the carpenter’s next appearance.

In completely unrelated news, we finally ordered some of the hardware (towel hooks, toilet paper holder, etc.) for the upstairs bathroom.

Now, I realize that some of you have been waiting with bated breath to learn if we went with metal or plastic. Moreover, I’m sure that others will want to know what color we chose and even what the fixtures look like.

But the thing is – if I tell you now, I’ll have nothing to blog about a different time. And besides, it has become something of an Our Shiputzim tradition to milk boring, trivial and inconsequential announcements for way, way, way more than their worth.

And so, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait for a future episode for all these fascinating details.

In the meantime, we wish you a good night from the entire Our Shiputzim staff!

Havel Havelim

Havel Havelim is a weekly Jewish blog carnival. The newest edition can be found here or here.

Thank you to Batya for including my “Heblish-English dictionary” post.

Was that a flying pig I just saw?

Shavua tov, Our Shiputzim fans!

Now, lest you mistakenly thought that the title refers to the return of the carpenter, let me quickly dissuade you of that notion. As previously reported, he has not been here since last Sunday.

Fortunately for our readers, however, I happened to be speaking to YCT the other night, and I was provided with a good deal of blog fodder despite the lack of progress on the renovations front.

To wit:

1) YCT gave me a compliment.

Yes, you read that correctly.

During our discussion, reference was made to a certain individual, and YCT noted that the woman in question - who is just about my age – looks like she is several years older than me.

When I called him on the fact that he had just complimented me for the time in our lives, he tried to lessen the impact. He observed that people at his advanced age make comments like that routinely and that he was just quoting RCT anyway.

But his wavering did not fool me, and I told him that I was going to have to blog about this noteworthy occasion.

2) An indication of charedi-ness?

Recently, I called a certain tourist attraction to make reservations. Among other questions, the woman on the phone asked if we are charedi or chiloni. Slightly taken aback – my American roots were showing, I guess – I said simply, “neither.”

“Okay, so then you’re dati leumi,” she replied and moved on to the next question.

Afterwards, YZG said that I should have asked what the nafka mina was and then decided if we were better off being charedi or chiloni.

Anyway, during our recent conversation, I told YCT about this whole story – including YZG’s reaction.

YCT, in turn, said that using the phrase “nafka mina” automatically labels me as charedi.

I, however, disagreed. I pointed out that charedi women do not use the phrase “nafka mina”. In fact, I said, charedi women don’t even know what this phrase means.

What do you think? Please leave a comment and share your thoughts on this – or any other – subject.

And that’s about it for now.

Good night from the entire Our Shiputzim staff.

A people house has things like… stairs

Helloooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

As our long time readers will no doubt recall, I ruined the dramatic impact of the kablan’s exit in this post by noting that he was going to come back at some point:

“To touch up the paint in the downstairs bathroom.”

Well, yesterday turned out to be the big day.

The kablan scraped off the paint where it had cracked, spackled, and then put on two coats of paint. Instead of posting a picture, I refer you to this post. The walls now look exactly as they did then. (Hopefully, this time they’ll continue to look like they do now…)

Meanwhile, while he was here, the kablan put the leftover steps up on the wall as shelves:

As you can see in the above picture, there’s actually one more step sitting on top of the bookshelf below. That fourth step – or shelf, if you will – was meant to be the top step and is therefore not as deep as the other steps. So, if we want to put it up on the wall, we need to get different brackets.

And that’s about it for now.

Have a good night from the entire Our Shiputzim staff.

P.S. In case you were wondering - no, the carpenter did not come today, but there’s always “tomorrow”…

Invoking Vizzini

Hellooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

Today was rather… well, odd. Sadly, we went to a funeral in the afternoon. But then we came home, got changed, and went to a wedding. Needless to say, the juxtaposition of the two events was somewhat unsettling, to say the least.

In renovation news, although the carpenter did not arrive today, he actually showed up for a few hours yesterday.

Care to see what he accomplished? (Like you have a choice…*) Then follow me.

As you may be able to see in the following picture, the left hand side of the closet is somewhat shallower than the rest – to enable one to open the door to the room.

The white thing in the lower right corner of the picture is supposed to be the bathroom cabinet.

When is the carpenter going to come back and finish the closet – to say nothing of installing the aforementioned bathroom cabinet? That remains to be seen. Of course, as is his wont, the carpenter told us that he’s coming “tomorrow”, but if I may paraphrase: He keeps using that word; I do not think it means what he thinks it means…

And that’s about it for now.

Tune it next time when rumor has it our-neighbor-formerly-known-as-the-kablan may be paying us a visit in a professional capacity. You won’t want to miss it!

Have a good night from the entire Our Shiputzim staff.

___________

* No choice short of skipping the rest of this post, of course, but I’m sure you wouldn’t want to do that!

The Heblish-English Dictionary

Helloooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

Those of us raising kids here in Israel are very familiar with that obscure yet utterly charming language known as “Heblish”.

One of the most fascinating aspects of this particular language is its vast number of dialects. In fact, every American-Israeli household boasts its own unique version.

Therefore, as a public service, I am pleased to announce the upcoming release of the First Edition of the Our Shiputzim Heblish-English Dictionary.

Here are some sample entries:

I’m in metach: Hebrew source – אני במתח . English definition - I’m in suspense. Common usage - “I can’t go to sleep right now. I only have two more chapters left of this book, and I’m in metach.”

I had a mazal: Hebrew source – היה לי מזל. English definition – I was lucky. Common usage - “I know I left for school twenty minutes late this morning. But I had a mazal; the teacher came even later than me!”

The that: Hebrew source – הזה. English definition – That thing or the thingamajig. Common usage - “I put the book down on the that.”

To marry with: Hebrew source – להתחתן עם. English definition – To marry. Common usage - “He is going to marry with her.”

To livater: Hebrew source – לוותר. English definition – To give in; to concede. Common usage - “Fine, he can go first; I’m willing to livater.” (Note: This phrase – like many other infinitives – is often “conjugated.” For example, in the past tense, one would say, “I livater’ed.” Similarly, in future tense, one would say, “I will livater.”)

Feel free to share some of your own examples in the comment section.

You know your klitah is complete when…

… You make sheva brachot, and you’re okay with the fact that no one knows exactly how many people are coming until all the guests arrive.

Caveat: We co-hosted the sheva brachot in question with four other couples, and the sheva brachot were held in someone else’s backyard. I admit that I might not have been as blasé if the affair was being held here in TRLEOTB (the real life equivalent of this blog).

BTW, in completely unrelated news, the carpenter did NOT show up this week. He assures us that he’s coming on Sunday I”YH….

Shabbat Shalom from the entire Our Shiputzim staff!

Tuesday. Definitely Tuesday

Helloooo, Our Shiputzim fans!

We begin today’s post by noting that we have reached another milestone: This is our 100th post. Not bad for a blog that was meant to last for only three weeks.*

In other news, everyone seems to have had a good first day (B”AH) at their respective educational institutions. (Specific details are available off-line from the Our Shiputzim information department.)

And turning to AMG’s closet, we have…. nothing.

Yesterday, the carpenter assured YZG that he’s going to call on Tuesday I”YH and then come on Wednesday. (Contact the Our Shiputzim bookmaker to lay your bets on the likelihood of this actually happening.)

Meanwhile, YZG and his talented team of assistants put up blinds in the boys’ room, as you can see here:

It’s hard to say which is more exciting – these window blinds or the attic light bulbs from this post. Feel free to weigh in on this issue in the comment section. YAT, I would really love to hear your opinion in particular.

And that’s about it for now.

See you next time on another enthralling episode of “Our Shiputzim”.

__________________

* As our long-time readers will no doubt recall, the kablan initially told us that the renovations would take three weeks – at the most. Since we never took him at his word, we weren’t disappointed when the three weeks dragged into… well, let’s just say that they dragged into more than three weeks, and leave it at that.