The Our Shiputzim Editorial Board proudly presents:
The Top 10 Signs That Your Son* Is an IDF Soldier
(*Or Daughter)
10) His speech is liberally peppered with acronyms (i.e. roshei teivot for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you).
9) Not only have you started to recognize some of those acronyms, but you even know what a handful of them mean.
8) You’ve considered adding a new skill to your LinkedIn profile: washing army uniforms.
7) You’ve convinced yourself that there’s no need to iron those uniforms.
6) Mathematicians may insist that the shortest route between any two given points is a straight line, but you’ve learned that in the army, traveling home from one’s base involves zigzagging across the country and changing buses at countless obscure junctions and intersections.
5) You’ve long since ceased to be surprised that the army functions in a seemingly-constant state of balagan (loosely, disorganization)…
4) Somehow, you’ve suddenly been transformed into the stereotypical Jewish mother (aka an imma Polaniyah – a Polish mother – in the local vernacular). Whenever you speak to your son, you find yourself asking, “But are you SURE you’re getting enough to eat?” (Although to be perfectly fair, a certain hesdernik of my acquaintance is actually eating better now in the army than he did when he was in his yeshiva. Of course, that’s not really saying much… :-))
3) Many of the country’s burning political issues have become far less academic and theoretical and far more personal and relevant. (More on this, perhaps, in a future post.)
2) You finally feel like a “real” Israeli.
1) Every time your son walks through the front door, you’re once again amazed and filled with tremendous gratitude to HaKadosh Baruch Hu that the tall, handsome (BA”H) soldier standing before you is the same tiny baby boy you held in your arms all those years ago.
May Hashem watch over and protect all our soldiers and keep them all safe and sound.
_____________
P.S. Looking for “the Israeli view of yesterday’s US elections?” Here’s my take:
”.על מי לנו להשען? על אבינו שבשמים”
“On Whom can we rely? On our Father in Heaven.” (BT Sotah 49a)
Wow! You have my best wishes - I hope his sherut goes as smoothly as possible for all of you!
ReplyDeleteThe Israeli army is the only thing that has ever made me wish I had given birth to sons.
ReplyDeleteInteresting and witty, as always!
ReplyDeleteMay your son and all the Khayalim and Kahyalot merit the miraculous...victory over our enemies with no casualties at all.
ReplyDeleteMy sons never looked as slim and fit as when they finished tironut. And during tironut we were constantly laughing with them. You would think the whole thing was one big satire. Afterwards it gets a little more real.
ReplyDeleteLet's just hope peace breaks out soon. But meanwhile we'll rely on our father in heaven.
Toby – Thank you!
ReplyDeleteBat Aliyah – A friend once said that serving in the IDF (or having one’s child serve in the IDF) is not a burden but rather a privilege and an honor.
Ilana-Davita – Thanks for your kind words!
The Bray of Fundie – Amen!!
Risa – Well said! And OS (=Our Soldier) also has a bunch of very funny stories from tironut... :-)