By now I think we can all agree that I’d make a terrible gannenet.
I mean, my deplorable tendency to laugh at these dedicated caregivers clearly indicates that I lack the proper gravitas and solemnity required to succeed in this hallowed profession.
Yet as it turns out, my regrettable levity renders me unsuited for another job as well.
I’m speaking, of course, about a career as a gym teacher.
[This would be a perfect opportunity for me to write, “Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.” But since it’s only been five months since the last time I used this quote, I’ll have to manage without it... :-)]
You see, first, there was the whole being graded on one’s handstand thing.
And now there’s the following:
As part of the requirements for the physical fitness bagrut, the CTO’s gym teacher announced that the seniors would have to make up any gym classes they had missed.
Specifically, the teacher explained, he expected twelve minutes of nonstop walking for every missed lesson.
Note that we’re not talking about high-speed power walking. In fact, a gentle, slow-paced stroll or even a relaxed saunter was deemed to be more than sufficient.
Now, as it so happened, the CTO had somehow missed five gym lessons* this year and thus owed the gym teacher an hour of walking.
In practical terms, this meant that - under the gym teacher’s benevolent yet watchful eye - the CTO and some of his friends spent 24 minutes yesterday and an additional 36 minutes today taking leisurely turns about the perimeter of their yeshiva’s basketball court.
It was like a scene straight out of Pride and Prejudice – except that it took place outdoors rather than in an elegantly-appointed drawing room, and the amblers wore kippot and tzitzit in lieu of high-waisted Empire dresses…
*I’m told that one of the CTO’s classmates missed 14 lessons this year and therefore had to walk for almost three hours! :-)