Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Name That Country!

Okay, contestants! We’ve reached the third and final round of “Name. Thaaaaat. Country!”

{applause sign lights up, and studio audience cheers accordingly}

Now, you know the drill.

{contestants nod and try to look intelligent}

The talented “Name That Country!” Players will act out a scene, and you’ll then have sixty seconds on the clock to correctly name. thaaaaat. country!

And for those of you out there, playing along at home {flashes impossibly white teeth directly at the camera}, we’re going to help you out with some clues, which will appear on your TV screens during the scene.

Okay, let me see. {consults card} Today’s scene takes place in a luggage shop.

Aaaaand action!

{Scene: A luggage shop}

Saleswoman: {notices a family of customers and heads over to assist them} Good morning. Can I help you?

Father: Yes, thank you. We’re interested in a 90-liter capacity backpack.

Saleswoman: {surprised} Really? What do you need it for?

Son: It’s for me, for next year.

Saleswoman: {glances quickly at the young man} To travel to and from yeshiva?

[Clue #1Unlike certain nurses, the pants-wearing saleswoman has no problem recognizing the son’s kippah and tzitzit.]

Son: Yes.

Saleswoman: Great. But you don’t need such a big knapsack for that! Why don’t I show you some of our smaller and cheaper models?

[Clue #2The saleswoman doesn’t want the customers to waste their money on unnecessary purchases.]

Mother: Oh, thanks, but I think we prefer one of these bigger ones.

Saleswoman: {to son} How often are you going to be coming home? Every other Shabbat, no?

[Clue #3The seemingly-secular saleswoman is familiar with the concept of a Shabbat yeshiva.]

Son: Actually, every third Shabbat.

Saleswoman: {raises eyebrows} Oy! Then you’re right! You DO need a 90-liter bag! So, here are the different options..

Customers: {choose an appropriate knapsack}

Saleswoman:{ringing up the sale} But I still don’t understand these yeshivot. I mean, boys need to be home more than once every three weeks. The yeshivot should really let them go more often…

[Clue #4Underneath that professional exterior, the saleswoman is really a Jewish mother, or as they say in the vernacular, an “imma Polaniyah” - אמא פולניה – a Polish mother.]

Thank you, “Name That Country!” Players!

And now, contestants, you have sixty seconds…

{clock starts ticking}

60, 59, 58, 57…



  1. This is the same woman who 18 years earlier would have stopped you in the street and told you that this baby needs a hat. I love this country!

  2. lol excellent post! i needed that laugh! :)

  3. So what color is the knapsack? Inquiring savtas want to know...

  4. Is he going far away?

    Problem is laundry!

    (But that is OK, they wear the same shirts 2 days in a row)

  5. Miriyummy - LOL! You're absolutely right, and me too! :-)

    Imma - Security considerations prevent me from giving a complete answer in this venue, but I will say that it isn't pink, purple, or red... :-)

    Keren - Yeah, I've been wondering about the laundry issue. Apparently, the yeshiva does have a laundry facility of some sort, but I doubt that the guys spend too much time doing laundry. On the other hand, I can't imagine that most of them have enough clothes to last three weeks, and so I was afraid that wearing their shirts for several days is the most common solution... ;-(

    Ilana-Davita, Minnesota Mamaleh, and Toby - Thanks! I'm glad you all enjoyed it.

  6. Actually the truth is that my son never makes the 3 weeks in yeshiva, he always turns up for some reason during one of the weeks, or gives my husband the dirty clothes.

    He does have a washing machine in the apartment, but washed clothes very rarely.

    (Don't ask about how often the sheets come home).

  7. Keren - Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! It really helps to hear from mothers who've gone through this before.

    Shabbat Shalom!

    P.S. LOL about the sheets! ;-)

  8. Suggest sending cornflakes or cereal with him too.
    Buy lots of socks and underwear, extra talit katan.

    if you have any other questions can ask me offline

  9. Thanks, Keren, for those excellent tips! Please send me an email to OurShiputzim at gmail dot com.


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