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Sunday, September 8, 2013

A modest proposal

Shanah tovah!

By a show of hands, who is in favor of the following proposal:

Every one of our illustrious politicians who voted to extend daylight savings time into October – and thereby added a very unwelcome extra hour to today’s fast – should be forced to fast for an additional TWO hours this evening…

Winking smile

And in the meantime, in keeping with a long-standing Our Shiputzim tradition, here’s the requisite fast day food post:

As I’ve noted several times, the dessert situation tends to improve dramatically here in TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog) during the summer months, when the talented Shiputzim bakers have some extra time on their hands.

This past summer, one of the aforementioned bakers whipped up these yummy treats:

IMG_2143

IMG_2129

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Chewy Chocolate Chip Granola Bars

Adapted from here.

Ingredients

  • 1/3 cup canola oil
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • ¼ cup sugar
  • 2 TBSP honey
  • 1 egg
  • 1 cup flour
  • ½ tsp cinnamon
  • ½ tsp baking powder
  • pinch of salt
  • 1½ cups oats
  • 1¼ cups rice krispies
  • 1 cup chopped almonds
  • 1½ cups chocolate chips

Directions

Combine the oil and the sugars. Mix in honey, vanilla, and the egg. Add flour, cinnamon, baking powder, and salt. Add oats, rice krispies, almonds, and chocolate chips.

Spread the batter into a baking-paper-lined 9x13 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until the bars are lightly browned.

Cut into bars and let cool in pan.

!צום קל ומועיל

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Erev Rosh Hashanah 5774

.תכלה שנה וקללותיה, תחל שנה וברכותיה
Let the [old] year and its curses come to an end; let the [new] year and its blessings begin.

As you may recall, every year my mother prepares a very special family calendar. Here are the Shiputzim kids’ beautiful contributions to the 5774 edition:

October2013October 2013 (roughly corresponding to Cheshvan 5774)

August2014August 2014 (roughly corresponding to Av 5774)

As always, please be sure to click on the pictures for a much better view.

לשנה טובה תכתבו ותחתמו לאלתר לחיים טובים ולשלום!

May you have a wonderful, happy, healthy, prosperous, and sweet new year!

Saturday, August 31, 2013

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Ever since the dawn of time, come the first week of the brand new school year, teachers – for reasons best known to themselves – inevitably feel that what the world DESPERATELY needs is yet another batch of literary masterpieces entitled, “How I Spent My Summer Vacation.”

Unfortunately, however, their students never seem quite up to the admittedly daunting  challenge of condensing two glorious months of fun and freedom into a couple of dull and boring sentences.

<brief interjection> I strongly suspect that when my parents read this post, they’ll ask me, “Why didn’t you write about the tuna?And so, before they do – and with your permission – I’ll recount this ancient tale of woe.

According to family legend*, back when I was about 7-8 years old, I [allegedly] reduced a vacation packed with trips, outings, and countless activities to the following:

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

We went to visit my grandparents. We bought tuna fish there, because it was cheap.

The End

*At the advice of counsel, I will neither confirm nor deny this story…

</interjection>

Yet, oddly enough, no one ever asks the parents to describe what THEY did during the vacation.

Which is a shame, really, because most parents would undoubtedly enjoy sharing their valuable tips for making it through the annual endurance test that is summer vacation spending wonderful quality time with their delightful offspring.

For instance, Gila has an ingenious solution (i.e. a pahTENT, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you) she likes to call  “Next Safety”.

Meanwhile, here in TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog), we prefer a more low-tech approach and instead rely on a tried-and-tested system* of automatic parental responses to frequently asked questions.

Here’s how it works:

Question Automatic Response
What’s for supper? Probably food, but I’ll have to get back to you on that one.
When are we going to do [a long-awaited but costly activity]? Not today.
Why won’t you let me go?! Everyone else’s parents said they could! Ah, but no one else’s parents ever won the prestigious “Meanest Mother in the World” contest!
Why do I always have to set/clear the table? Because we like your siblings better.

Laughing out loud

How did YOU make it through YOUR summer vacation?

(On a related noted, be sure to check out this JPost essay about the end of summer vacation.)

!שבוע טוב ומבורך

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*Satisfaction is not guaranteed. Void where prohibited.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

The Kotel through [some of] the ages

Warning: The following post exceeds the recommended daily allowance for controversial topics. However, if you make it through the boring opinion stuff at the beginning, there are some cool pictures at the end…

It’s like a game of Mad Libs gone terribly wrong.

Women _______(preposition) the Wall.

Women around the Wall. Women under the Wall. Women behind the Wall. Women in the Wall. Women off the Wall. Women driving the rest of us up the Wall.

Each of these fictional organizations their real-life counterparts insists that it represents the Ultimate TruthTM; that the other guy started it; and that its members are the poor, misunderstood victims of the story.

But speaking in the name of the sane, silent majority*, I say that we don’t care.

*<explanation>Speaking in the name of the sane, silent majority” is a social media term, which can be loosely translated as: “I feel a certain way, and therefore, that gives me the right to ascribe my views to the rest of the world and to condemn those who dare to disagree with me.” </explanation>

We don’t care which group instigated and which one retaliated. We don’t care which one provoked and which one perpetuated.

Nevertheless, we very much DO care that thanks to their combined efforts, going to the Kotel has become an unpleasant experience for countless women (your humble blogger included).

Of course, to be fair, these groups are not the only ones at fault.

Much of the blame goes to the ever-shrinking size of the women’s section at the Kotel; the Kotel’s ever-rising mechitzah; and the ever-growing barrier separating the Kotel itself from the plaza behind it.

All of these are unfortunate yet very recent developments. Indeed, up until about a decade or so ago, the Kotel plaza looked very different.

But you don’t have to take my word for it. Instead, check out the following Shiputzim family photos from over the years, and be sure to click on the pictures for a much better view.

First, an historic picture from the summer of 1967, when there was no barrier at all:

Kotel 1967 (1)See my Kotel 1967 post for more incredible pictures from this period.

Next, the summer of 1970:

BOX69_A06-15As you can see, the front of the plaza is now separated from the back with two metal chains strung from a series of short posts.

We now move on to the summer of 1979:

BIGBOX_A27-10There now appears to be a row of low, movable barriers behind the chains.

Our next stop is early 1983:

IMG_0004The chains have been replaced by a series of short walls, with spaces in between.

And finally, circa 1986-1987:

IMG_0044It’s hard to make out either the barrier or the mechitzah, but clearly they’re both low enough that people can look over them.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any recent pictures of the Kotel plaza (or at least, none that would pass muster with this blog’s Director of Security), but a whole bunch of photos are available over at a Mother in Israel’s blog, here and here.

In conclusion, I should stress that this post is meant neither to bash anyone nor to generate negativity. My point is simply that not very long ago, the Kotel experience was much more positive and uplifting for women, and there’s absolutely no reason why it can’t be recreated.

Your thoughts?
Please keep it civil. Thanks!

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Still here…

All evidence to the contrary, I haven’t abandoned this blog.

It’s just that we’ve been busy here in TRLEOOB* with assorted summertime activities.

So, in the meantime, here’s the Maccabeats’ newest video to tide you over until I get back to posting:

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog hiatus…

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*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Around the J-Blogosphere

The first load of laundry is in. The relevant people have gone off to shave. And the kids are getting ready to go swimming.

All in all, a typical 10th of Av after chatzot…

Laughing out loud

Meanwhile, several items of interest or note:

1) A hauntingly beautiful recording of Rav Soloveitchik zt”l singing “Eli Tzion” on Tisha B’Av 1978 with his students:

2) The latest Haveil Havalim is available here. Special thanks to Batya for including my post about exemptions from IDF service.

3) The latest Kosher Cooking Carnival is available here. Special thanks to Yosefa for including my chocolate chip oatmeal bars.

נחמו נחמו עמי.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Counteracting the Meraglim V

As we head into Tisha B’Av, here’s yet another “antidote to the meraglim (the Spies)” post – i.e. a discussion of that which makes life in our beautiful Land so incredibly special.

Previous antidote to the meraglim posts include:

  1. The annual Yemei Iyun B’Tanach in Gush Etzion

Our Sages taught that the Second Beit HaMikdash was destroyed due to sinat chinam (generally translated as “gratuitous hatred”).

Thus, what better way to counteract this terrible tendency (which, sadly, continues to rear its ugly head) than by showing how tightly intertwined we all are here in Israel.

After all, Israel is such a tiny country that not only is it nearly impossible to go anywhere without bumping into at least one acquaintance, but as every well-played round of Jewish geography (a favorite national pastime) inevitably reveals, Israelis of every stripe are - at most – separated by a couple of degrees of separation.

But what’s most amazing to me – even after all these years – is how closely connected the average, run-of-the-mill Israeli (as if such a person actually exists…) is to the country’s biggest names in politics, the IDF, academia, business, law, medicine, the rabbinate, high tech, journalism, entertainment, and any other field you could possibly imagine.

I mean, between the Shiputzim family and our immediate relatives, we’re personally acquainted with at least half a dozen past and present MKs and governmental ministers.

In addition, we’re on a first name basis with any number of noted judges, CEOs of major corporations, presidents of prestigious institutions of higher learning, top military brass, famous writers, internationally-renowned doctors, important rabbis, leading scientists, etc.

The world may think of them as the country’s movers and shakers, but as far as most Israelis are concerned, they are “regular” people, who live in our communities, daven in our shuls, send their kids to the same schools as our kids, serve in the same army units as our husbands and sons, shop in the same stores as we do, and wait in the same lines at the kupat cholim (medical clinic).

The list goes on and on, but here are two quick examples:

1) Not long after the CTO started basic training, we discovered that one of the senior commanders of his entire branch of the military lives just around the corner from us, and his children go to school with some of the Shiputzim kids.

2) A few years ago, both a Shiputzim daughter and a friend got sick while at the machaneh. Fortunately, another girl from their snif (chapter) arrived that day, and her father, who brought her to the machaneh, kindly offered to drive the two sick girls home. Which wouldn’t be particularly noteworthy, of course, except that the father in question happens to be the highly-respected rosh yeshiva of one of the country’s top hesder yeshivot…

May we be privileged to remember and strengthen the ties that bind us, and may our eyes behold Hashem’s return to Tzion with mercy, speedily and in our days. Amen.

יה”ר שיבנה בית המקדש במהרה בימינו, אמן.

Have an easy and meaningful fast.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Rosh Chodesh Av

Once again, Machon HaMikdash has a new thought-provoking video for the Nine Days:

"כל המתאבל על ירושלים זוכה ורואה בשמחתה."

"Whoever mourns for Yerushalayim will be privileged to witness her joy.” (BT Taanit 30b)